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Articles
Oct 28
Fleetwood Town Hold Arsenal to Scrappy Draw as Carabao Cup Fourth Round Heads to Penalties
Oct 27
UK Landline Switchover: MPs Warn Digital Deadline Could Leave Rural Areas Screaming Into the Void
Oct 27
Fitbit Now Guesses Your Insulin Resistance Without Drawing Blood, Because Needles Are So 2025
Oct 27
Dallas Firm Raises $10B to Make It Rain on AI and Defense, Because Subtlety Is Dead
Oct 27
West Warns Sudan Famine Risk as Civil War Grinds On, Aid Obstacles Blamed
Oct 27
Anthropic Unveils Governance Structure So Elaborate It Might Actually Keep Wall Street From Ruining Everything
Oct 27
Finland and Norway Call Putin to Discuss Peace, Because Someone Had To
Oct 27
Ombudsman Confirms Algorithm Is Bad at Judging Humans, Government Responds With 'We'll Consider It'
Oct 27
Campaigners to Chancellor: Stop Bankrolling Carbon Capture 'Fairytale' and Fund Things That Actually Work
Oct 27
Crystal Palace Give Pierre Sage a Stay of Execution, Because Apparently Scheduling Is Now a Managerial Strategy
Oct 27
Manufacturers Discover That Knowledge Is Power, Immediately Try to Bottle It
Oct 27
Houseplant Dormancy: Experts Confirm Cacti Need Beauty Sleep, Tropicals Just Need Therapy
Oct 27
Government Unveils Budget of Tiny Fixes and One Very Cheap Gherkin
Oct 27
Ceasefire Begins in Ukrainian City Where Residents Have Resorted to Eating Garden Weeds
Oct 27
Australia's Death Statistics Deliver Grim Milestone: Dementia Tops 10% While Asthma Deaths Hit Decade High
Oct 27
Oxford Street Goes Car-Free, Londoners React With Predictable Mix of Awe and Annoyance
Oct 27
Israel Votes in Election Everyone Calls Historic, Which Is Never a Good Sign
Oct 27
Iceberg A-81 Finally Reaches South Georgia After Three-Year Antarctic Odyssey, Because Even Ice Needs a Vacation
Oct 27
Jay-Z Finally Books Himself for the Gig He's Been Producing Since 2019
Oct 27
NASA Inspects Giant Sunshade That Will Stare Directly at the Sun So We Don't Have To
Oct 27
Apple's £1,999 Foldable Already Folding Under Pressure, Will Replace Defective Duos
Oct 27
FTC and 20 States Sue Dollar General for Charging More Than the Price Tag, Which Is Apparently a Crime
Oct 27
OpenAI Announces Three 'Major' Science Discoveries, Because One Apocalypse at a Time Is Apparently Not Enough
Oct 27
Lesbian Bar That Went Viral for Relaxing Mask Policy Now Seeks New Owners, Proving Virality Isn't a Business Model
Oct 27
Illinois Man Mails Salt to Congress, Learns Anthrax Jokes Don't Land Well With Feds
Oct 26
Australian Politics: Now With More Apology Standoffs, AI Threats, and Sign-Retrieval Violence
Oct 26
Fusion Startups Trade Equity for Government Cash, Because Nothing Says 'Innovation' Like a Cap Table With Uncle Sam
Oct 26
Walter Koenig, the Russian Navigator Who Made Cold War Kids Feel Slightly Less Doomed, Dies at 90
Oct 26
NASA Invites Journalists to Pretend They're Landing on the Moon, No Actual Spaceflight Required
Oct 26
Sony Resurrects 2020 Headphones, Charges $300, and Somehow It Works
Oct 26
Microsoft Offers Buyouts to 60,000 Employees, Because Nothing Says 'AI Future' Like a Generous Goodbye
Oct 26
Anthropic Files for IPO, Warns Its Own Product Might End Humanity
Oct 26
Peta Video Shows Baby Monkeys Separated From Mothers, Wired for Science at University of Washington
Oct 26
Consultant Doctors in England Announce Two-Day Strike, Because 3.5% Apparently Doesn't Cover the Mortgage
Oct 26
Lula Wins Again, Proving That 80 Is the New 60 and Prison Is Apparently Just a Detour
Oct 26
Sudan's RSF Hits Five Power Stations With Drones, Because Nothing Says 'Winning' Like Turning Off the Fridges
Oct 26
China's Stressed Youth Discover 'Brick Parenting,' a Hobby That Literally Requires Zero Effort
Oct 26
Thwaites Glacier Still Doomed, Now With Extra Doom, Scientists Confirm
Oct 26
Six Apps That Promise to Fix Your Reading Habit (Because Goodreads Is Apparently Too Mainstream)
Oct 26
Chancellor John Healey Prepares First Budget, Promises Nothing, Rules Out Even Less
Oct 26
NASA Reminds Us the Orion Nebula Exists, Still 1,500 Light-Years Away
Oct 26
Scientists Fix a Quantum Bug That Was Hiding in Plain Sight (Sort Of)
Oct 26
Dentists Confirm That Painting Teeth With a Cheap Liquid Beats Drilling, Which Is Somehow News
Oct 26
Lula Wins Fourth Term After Stunning Comeback, Because Apparently Democracy Still Works
Oct 26
Burnham Doubles Down on Rough Sleeping With £900m Pledge, Because Apparently Compassion Now Comes With a Receipt
Oct 26
Nigeria Village Attack Death Toll Rises to 48, Because Apparently 'Tens of Dead' Was Just the Opening Bid
Oct 26
New Series 'Adultery' Teaches Us Nothing Except Maybe Avoid Rickety Furniture
Oct 26
iFixit Autopsies iPhone Duo, Finds Crease-Hiding Tricks and a Hinge That Might Be Snapping
Oct 25
Cabinet Split Over Rosebank Oilfield: Chancellor Says Drill, Energy Secretary Says Maybe Not, Everyone Says It's Fine
Oct 25
Chancellor's Military-Grade Budget Secrecy Somehow Fails to Stop Every Detail Leaking
Oct 25
Elvis Presley's Catalog Owners Sue Anthropic for $41 Million, Proving AI Can't Help Falling Into Copyright Trouble
Oct 25
Health Board Keeps Paying £110K for Research Nobody Can Quite Explain
Oct 25
Serbia Votes as Vučić Faces Students, Chekhov's Rifle, and the Threat of Actually Being Held Accountable
Oct 25
Portugal Deploys Dogs, Batons, and 2 A.M. Tactics to Clear Housing Protest Camps, Because Nothing Says Democracy Like Pre-Dawn Raids
Oct 25
Spinosaurus Confirmed as Prehistoric Underwater Loafer, Possibly Avoided Land to Dodge Spinosaur-Sized Chores
Oct 25
Mushroom Stroganoff: The Dish That Ditched the Beef and Somehow Got Away With It
Oct 25
Astronomers Find Three Black Holes Sharing a Galaxy, Because Apparently Rent Was Too High Even 12.5 Billion Years Ago
Oct 25
El Salvador President Inspects Bodies, Discovers One Is a Child and Another Wears Wrong Army's Uniform
Oct 25
Startup Introduces Lockbox So Porch Pirates Have to Work Slightly Harder
Oct 25
Journalists Visit Oil Field Everyone's Arguing About, Discover It's Mostly Just Windy
Oct 25
93-Year-Old Waits 10.5 Hours on Floor for Ambulance, Because Apparently That's a Service Now
Oct 25
Students Win Right to Bail on Leases, Landlords Warn Rents Will Bail Them Out
Oct 25
Government to Spend £1bn on Housing, Devolve Powers, and Maybe Finally Fix the Potholes
Oct 25
Israel Demolishes Hebron Homes, Displaces 2,000, Because Elections Apparently Need a Body Count
Oct 25
Kimi Antonelli Takes Pole in Austin, Because Apparently the Wind Is Now a Ferrari Employee
Oct 25
Block's New Voice Model Dessa Sounds Human, Which Is Either Impressive or Terrifying
Oct 25
New York Archdiocese Finalizes $800M Settlement With 1,300 Abuse Survivors, Proving Accountability Takes Its Sweet Time
Oct 25
Starlink to Ukraine: Sorry for the 10-Day Internet Outage, No Further Explanation Needed
Oct 24
Australia's Temperature Records Under 'Forensic Audit' by People Who Once Did Corporate Mind-Reading
Oct 24
Vanessa Trump Declares Herself Cancer-Free, Proving That Sometimes the News Is Actually Good
Oct 24
Internet Narrowly Survives PHP-ocalypse After Two Decades-Old Bugs Almost Ruin Everyone's Wednesday
Oct 24
Chancellor Allocates £7m to Study Whether Northern England Can Handle the Olympics (Spoiler: It's Complicated)
Oct 24
MPs Investigate Child Poverty in Wales, Where One in Three Kids Are Poor and the Bed Is Literally Propped Up on Books
Oct 24
Football Clockwatch: Arsenal Edge Everton, QPR Channel 2014 Brazil, and the Weather Wins in Cumbria
Oct 24
Scientists Discover Human Language Has a Safety Bias, Because Apparently We're All Just Trying to Survive
Oct 24
Kim Jong-un Christens Bridge to China, Proves Diplomacy Is Just Infrastructure With Extra Steps
Oct 24
Hyperscale Datacentre Promises Jobs, Delivers Giant Grey Wall and a Hum You Can't Sleep Through
Oct 24
California Voters Weigh Taxing Billionaires, Who Are Already Packing Their Bags
Oct 24
SpaceNews and RTX Invite You to a Webinar on Satellite Edge Computing, Because Space Apparently Needs More Buzzwords
Oct 24
Startups Told the Phone Still Works, a Radical Concept for Founders Raised on TikTok
Oct 24
Kenya Confirms Second Ebola Death, Because One Was Apparently Not Enough
Oct 24
Levelling Up Projects Still Not Level, Years After Funds Allocated
Oct 24
Calais Migrant Camps: Ten Years After the 'Jungle', Evictions Every 48 Hours and a 40% Spike in Police Violence
Oct 24
Andy Burnham and Steve Rotheram Prove Politicians Can Be Vaguely Human on Gogglebox, Kemi Badenoch Reportedly Furious
Oct 24
Australia Braces for Weekend Storms After Queensland's October Deluge, Because One Flood Just Wasn't Enough
Oct 24
Jordan Church Funeral Shooting Kills Seven, Because Apparently Even Funerals Aren't Safe
Oct 24
UK Braces for Cold Snap as Experts Suggest You Simply Dance Around the Kitchen
Oct 24
NASA Reschedules Moon Landing to 2028, Promises 'Super Bowl-Caliber Team' Because Apollo Was Apparently Just a Warm-Up
Oct 24
Crows Make Decisions Twice as Fast as Primates, Because of Course They Do
Oct 24
Runner Discovers That Running Too Much Is, In Fact, Bad For You
Oct 24
Judge Rules Milei's Crypto Scandal Not Technically a Crime, Which Is Apparently How Law Works Now
Oct 24
VCs Warn That 'Product-Market Fit' Now Means More Than a Fancy ARR Number
Oct 23
UK Tells Citizens to Stockpile Three Days of Food, Joining Global Club of Governments Quietly Admitting Things Might Go Wrong
Oct 23
Slayyyter Cancels Tour Dates Because Vocal Cords Also Have Limits, Apparently
Oct 23
Wales to Steel Pylons: Drop Dead (Or Go Underground, Preferably)
Oct 23
Prosecution to Jury: We Don't Live in a 'Vigilante World,' Even If Tommy Robinson Really Wants To
Oct 23
SpaceX Reportedly Eyes 80,000 Cell Towers to Become Your New Least Favorite Carrier
Oct 23
Nuclear Comeback Tour Hits a Snag: Worker in Reactor Cavity, Fuel Rods Take a Tumble
Oct 23
Ebola Outbreak Adds Nigeria to Its Itinerary, Because Apparently Four Countries Weren't Enough
Oct 23
Government Advises Stockpiling Beans and Water, Because Apparently That's Where We Are Now