BBC World
Germany's Far-Right AfD Poised for Historic Taste of Power in East - Bratwurst Not Included
Germany's far-right AfD eyes historic state win in Saxony-Anhalt, promising radical change and a whole lot of controversy.
BBC World
The Guardian
Farage Insists He Can't Be Bought, Prompting Collective Snort From Anyone Watching
Farage decries a sting as a hoax while Reform's conference descends into chaos, proving that the only thing more flexible than his principles is his memory of Clacton.
The Guardian Europe
Tennessee Set to Execute First Woman Since 1819, Which Is Somehow Still a Thing in 2024
Tennessee's about to execute its first woman since 1819, and her case is a grim reminder that America's death penalty is still a mess - just with more pickaxes.
The Guardian
British Army Told to Halt Non-Essential Training to Save Money; Tanks and Apache Helicopters Take a Breather
British army suspends non-essential training to save money, but rest assured, the tanks will be back - eventually, probably after the budget review.
The Guardian
Trump Names Acting Army Secretary, Because Apparently Nobody Else Wanted the Job
Trump taps Adam Telle as acting army secretary after Dan Driscoll bails amid Hegseth drama, because the Pentagon needed a new soap opera.
Ars Technica
New Jersey Asks Supreme Court to Decide If Calling a Sports Bet a 'Swap' Makes It Not Gambling
New Jersey asks the Supreme Court to decide whether a sports bet is a 'swap' or just gambling with a fancy name, after two federal courts came to opposite conclusions.
The Guardian
Reform UK Aides Caught on Camera Allegedly Plotting to Dodge Foreign Donation Rules
Undercover footage allegedly shows Reform UK aides plotting to dodge foreign donation rules, with Farage caught saying 'Thankyou both' - a phrase that may come back to haunt him.
The Guardian Europe
Meloni's Government Hits Historic Milestone, Promptly Gets Outflanked by a Guy With a Book
Meloni celebrates being Italy's longest-running government since WWII, but a far-right general with a bestselling book and a penchant for fascist aesthetics is crashing her party.
The Guardian
Property Developer Claims Premier Is Best Friend; Inquiry Suggests Friendship May Have Been One-Sided
In a tapped call, a property developer claims the premier is his best friend; the premier's brother calls it bravado. Icac hears about $2m in alleged donations and a plot to dismantle political rivals.
The Guardian
Labor Unveils Tax Workaround That Lets Small Businesses Keep Trusting Trusts; Dolphin Tests Positive for Bird Flu (Because 2024)
Labor finds a loophole around its own loophole, KPMG gets sued, a dolphin gets bird flu, and Australians donate millions - all in a day's news.
The Guardian
Epstein Survivors to Billionaire Leon Black: Bless Your Heart, Now Show Up
Epstein survivors tell billionaire Leon Black to show up and hand over his NDAs, or face the wrath of Congress - and their collective side-eye.
The Guardian
Green Party Members Give Zack Polanski the Nod for a Seat Labour Considers Its Own
Green Party members have thrown their weight behind Zack Polanski for a byelection in a Labour stronghold, because who doesn't love a good political gamble?
BBC Politics
Burnham's PMQs Debut Proves New Politics Still Means Old Punch-Ups
Andy Burnham's first PMQs showed that even a social media-savvy PM can't escape the ancient ritual of political mud-wrestling.
BBC Business
Government Caps School Logo Items at Three, Parents Still Not Convinced They'll Save Money
New law caps school logo items at three, but suppliers and parents argue over whether it'll actually lighten the financial load - or just shift it to cheaper, less durable gear.
The Guardian
Whistleblower Warns USPS 'Secret Tracking System' Could Torpedo Mail-In Voting; Democrats Call It a 'Dangerous Power Grab'
Whistleblower claims USPS has a faulty, untested system that could disrupt mail-in voting, Democrats cry foul, and Trump's SAVE America Act gets a poison pill label.
BBC Politics
Burnham Promises More Devolution and Public Control of Essential Services, Promises to Fix Decades of 'Wrong Turns'
Burnham's first Commons address as PM: a plan for more devolution, public control of essentials, and a promise to fix the 'wrong turns' since the 1980s, while Badenoch rolls her eyes.
BBC Business
Swinney to Slash Scottish Health Boards from 14 to 2, Because Nothing Says 'Efficiency' Like a Merger
Scotland's health boards are about to get a dramatic makeover: from 14 to 2, because who needs local control when you can have one big board for the west and another for the east?
BBC World
Zambia's President Wins Second Term, Opponent Detained in Plot Twist
Zambia's president gets a second term, his rival gets treason charges - democracy with a side of irony.
The Guardian
Swinney's Big Promise: End Violence Against Women (Scotland's Version of 'This Time It's Personal')
Scotland's First Minister vows to end violence against women, because apparently laws alone haven't done the trick yet. Also, Tupac's murder finally gets a verdict.
The Atlantic
Trump's War on the Press Intensifies, FCC Told to Punish 'Fake Polls' (Because Accuracy Is Overrated)
Trump escalates his war on the press, demanding FCC punishment for 'fake polls' and suing everyone in sight - because nothing says freedom like silencing the messenger.
The Good Times
News in your inbox.
One sardonic roundup, delivered on your schedule. Free. Unsubscribe whenever your tolerance for wit runs out.
Already subscribed but we never reach your inbox? Check your spam folder and hit 'Not spam' (or 'Remove from spam') to bust us out of junk-mail purgatory. You'll be helping everyone else too.