Andy Burnham has confirmed that if he wins the Makerfield by-election on 18 June, he will almost immediately start angling to become Labour leader. Speaking alongside four other candidates during a BBC Question Time special in the constituency, the Greater Manchester mayor made clear his ambitions with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
Reform UK candidate Robert Kenyon, a plumber and local councillor, warned against using Makerfield as a 'stepping stone' - a plea that was promptly ignored by the man who literally stepped down as an MP to allow Burnham to run. Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer, meanwhile, is defiantly clinging to his mandate, with a No 10 spokesperson insisting he 'will not walk away from the mandate he was given just two years ago to build a stronger, fairer Britain.' No formal challenge has been launched against him, but that hasn't stopped Burnham and Health Secretary Wes Streeting from lining up like contestants on a political dating show.
Pressed on how to restore public trust, Burnham criticized 'point-scoring before problem-solving' in Westminster - just before engaging in some classic point-scoring about his own leadership ambitions. 'I think Wes Streeting seems to have launched a leadership contest, so if that is running I would seek to join it,' he said, adding that he'd need to persuade 81 Labour MPs to back him, which is basically the political equivalent of finding 81 people willing to give you a kidney.
Kenyon, for his part, hit back at Burnham's mayoral record, claiming that while Manchester 'thrives we're struggling to survive in Wigan.' He also refused to accept being labelled sexist over past online comments about women and abortion, insisting he was 'brought up by women' and has 'nothing but respect for women' - a defence that has historically been about as effective as a chocolate teapot.
Conservative candidate Michael Winstanley expressed disgust at the by-election being 'foisted upon us' and promised to 'get rid of Keir Starmer whichever politician is elected.' Burnham responded philosophically that 'you cannot control events in politics,' which is politician-speak for 'I'm doing this anyway.'
Green candidate Sarah Wakefield called for 'serious conversations' about the future, while Liberal Democrat Jake Austin decried the whole affair as an 'election for a potential future prime minister via the backdoor.' The debate also touched on the murder of 18-year-old Henry Nowak, with bodycam footage showing police handcuffing the dying student after his killer falsely claimed a racist attack. Burnham said a ban on carrying knives for religious reasons 'needs to be looked at,' while Kenyon argued the case showed a 'two-tier policing system.' Violent protests erupted in Southampton after the footage was released, because apparently nobody in British politics can have a normal week.