In a revelation that has surely restored faith in the political process, a group of young conservative Liberal power brokers accused of soliciting illegal donations allegedly used some of the funds to pay for a bucks night. Because nothing says 'integrity in politics' like a stripper and a bunch of drunk blokes.

The Independent Commission Against Corruption (Icac) on Friday heard from Robert Assaf, the first witness from the Reformers, the conservative right factional group at the center of the investigation. The inquiry is looking into allegations of branch stacking - the practice of recruiting or renewing party members with illegal donations - to push for more conservative policies on same-sex marriage, abortion, and euthanasia. Because if there's one thing that needs more money, it's making sure those issues stay firmly in the 1950s.

Counsel assisting Peggy Dwyer SC questioned Assaf about moving alleged payments from prohibited donor Michael O'Hara from the Reformers' bank account to Beckington, a lobbying firm set up by the group and run by member Christian Ellis. O'Hara previously admitted to a fake arrangement where he paid Beckington for 'strategic wealth strategy investment advice' - a service that apparently involves creating fake invoices to minimize tax. Assaf claimed the funneling was for 'the maximum benefit from a tax perspective,' to which Dwyer dryly replied, 'That's an explanation that you thought of overnight. Is that right?' Assaf admitted he now knows it's illegal to minimize tax with fake invoices, but at the time, he thought it was 'tricky.' Tricky indeed.

But the pièce de résistance came when Assaf admitted to temporarily using Reformers funds to pay for a bucks night. A WhatsApp message from Jean-Claude Perrottet - brother of former premier Dominic Perrottet - read, 'Rob has the bucks cash coming back.' Assaf explained that as 'immature and young' lads, they used the account as 'an advance on our personal expenditure.' The venue for either his or Christian Ellis's bucks party required an upfront payment, which was eventually cancelled, possibly due to Covid. Because nothing says 'we're mature enough to run the state' like booking a bucks night on a political slush fund.

The commission also heard that Assaf was employed at Catholic Schools NSW in 2019, alongside Reformers associate Dylan Whitelaw. The CEO of Catholic Schools NSW, Dallas McInerney, is alleged to have arranged payments to the group through Beckington, where Whitelaw later worked. Assaf admitted he knew the money was funding Whitelaw's work for the Reformers.

The inquiry also touched on federal opposition leader Angus Taylor, who has denied any payments to the group. Assaf recalled a message from McInerney saying he wanted to 'shake down Angus for 10K' and another from Whitelaw claiming a '15k injection plus a 3k monthly donation' from Taylor, but Assaf denied any donation occurred. 'I don't think Angus worked out,' he said, leaving us to wonder if that's a pun or just a sad commentary on political fundraising.

Presiding commissioner Fabian Gleeson had to intervene multiple times, telling Assaf he was 'a bit argumentative.' Assaf attributed it to being 'hangry,' to which Gleeson responded, 'I'm not aware of what young people's speak is these days.' We're pretty sure 'hangry' is universal, Commissioner.

The inquiry continues Monday with NSW shadow attorney general Damien Tudehope, whose office employed many Reformers and who gave frequent talks at their events. Tudehope has stood aside from his shadow cabinet roles but is not accused of wrongdoing. Also on the docket: Jean-Claude Perrottet and Jeremy Greenwood, both named in Icac's allegations. Jean-Claude allegedly paid for memberships as part of branch-stacking, which he denies. Because in the world of NSW Liberal politics, the only thing thicker than the factional alliances is the web of questionable financial arrangements.