In news that will surprise no one who has ever seen a school lunch tray, three-quarters of secondary schools in England are serving chips, burgers, and hash browns with reckless abandon, and apparently handing out sweets and crisps at breakfast like it's a birthday party. A new analysis from Bite Back, the food charity founded by chef Jamie Oliver, has exposed what it calls 'shocking' breaches of school food standards at nearly 400 state secondaries.

D'Arcy Williams, Bite Back's chief executive, described the widespread noncompliance as 'alarming,' noting that three out of four menus analyzed at 391 state secondary schools contained at least one breach. Most violations involved offering unhealthy foods more often than allowed.

At 206 schools (53%), products high in fat, sugar, or salt that are supposed to be banned altogether - such as crisps, Oreos, Mini Cheddars, chocolate bars, and pastries - were being sold as snacks, including at breakfast and lunch. Schools are only permitted to sell nuts, seeds, plain vegetables, and plain fruit as snacks. Because of course, a vending machine full of carrots is the dream.

Meanwhile, 224 schools (57%) served meat products like burgers, nuggets, sausages, and goujons more than the twice-a-week limit. Hash browns, which should appear only twice a week as a fried starchy food, were overused at 144 schools (37%). And 123 schools (31%) used solid chocolate - chocolate chips or coating - in desserts or bakes, despite an outright ban. Apparently, the chocolate chip cookie lobby is strong.

'These findings are very alarming and expose a system that is fundamentally failing our children,' said Williams. 'It is shocking to find crisps and chocolate being pushed at breakfast time or processed meats like sausage rolls and bacon baps being served far more frequently than the rules allow.'

Williams added that young people have long described school food as 'beige, bland and boring,' and now there's more evidence they're surrounded by unhealthy food all day. 'Schools should be a sanctuary for health and learning, yet the current postcode lottery of food quality is undermining that mission.'

But not all is doom and gloom: only eight schools (2%) were flouting the ban on selling confectionery like KitKats, Haribo sweets, and Maltesers as standalone items, and just three schools (1%) were selling banned sugary drinks such as Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Fanta, and Sprite. So there's that tiny sliver of hope.

Campaigners were concerned. Katharine Jenner, executive director of the Obesity Health Alliance, said schools should be a place where children get nutritious food, but this research suggests too many are still routinely exposed to processed meat, fried foods, pastries, and confectionery beyond what's allowed. 'If we can't even get the food environment right in schools, where children spend such a large part of their lives, then we have a serious problem,' she said.

Ministers are preparing to overhaul school food standards, something child health and anti-obesity groups have been demanding for years. At the start of the new academic year next month, there will be a major expansion of free school meals under the Labour government: all pupils from households receiving universal credit will qualify.

The Department for Education acknowledged that schools flout the standards. A spokesperson said they want every child to be healthy, happy, and ready to learn, and that's why they're delivering 'the most ambitious overhaul of school food in a generation.' They also promised a strengthened enforcement regime and required schools to publish their food policies and menus online to improve transparency. Because transparency is exactly what's needed when the menu includes 'mystery meat surprise.'