In a move that will have taxpayers humming the hold music with renewed hope, Reform UK has announced that if you're stuck listening to HMRC's delightful tunes for more than 30 minutes, you'll get £30 knocked off your tax bill. Robert Jenrick, the party's economy spokesman, declared that HMRC's treatment of taxpayers is "offensive to working people" and promised to tie the pay of senior HMRC officials to customer service targets.

To prevent any cheeky abuse of the system, the tax credit for phone delays would be limited to two occasions per tax year. Because nothing says 'we value your time' like a cap on how often you can be compensated for having it wasted.

This comes after a scathing report from the Public Accounts Committee in January 2025, which claimed HMRC was deliberately trying to "degrade its telephone service to drive taxpayers to digital channels." The report revealed that nearly 44,000 customers were cut off without warning after being on hold for over an hour in 2024, and that HMRC's treatment of taxpayers had "damaged trust in the tax system."

HMRC, unsurprisingly, rejected these findings as "completely baseless" - a phrase that's becoming as common as 'your call is important to us.' Jenrick, a former Tory MP, highlighted the findings at a media conference in central London, saying, "Frankly, it is offensive to working people and I have had enough." He then unveiled his grand plan: "If you spend more than half an hour waiting for HMRC to answer your call, you will get a £30 credit off your tax bill. If HMRC delay, they can repay."

And to ensure the staff actually hit their targets, Jenrick promised to link the pay of senior HMRC officials to their customer service performance. Because nothing motivates a bureaucrat like the threat of a smaller bonus.

But wait, there's more! Jenrick also pledged to scrap UK privacy rules in favour of a "light-touch" approach to data protection, aimed at slashing "red tape" for businesses. He claimed that GDPR - the EU legislation that was adopted as domestic law after Brexit - had "strangled" tech firms and small enterprises. The framework would be replaced by rules modelled on New Zealand's privacy legislation, which Reform says has the lightest-touch regime still recognised as "adequate" by the EU.

Labour, predictably, accused Reform of wanting to "scrap vital safeguards that protect people's private data" with its "unworkable and unserious plans." Because if there's one thing we've learned, it's that privacy is a serious matter - especially when you're trying to get a £30 rebate for hold music.

As the tax return deadline looms, HMRC's phone lines remain open. But with Reform's proposal, at least the wait might be more profitable.