Neil the One-Tonne Elephant Seal Finally Leaves Tasmanian Town, Taking His Traffic Jams With Him
The one-tonne elephant seal who terrorised Tasmanian traffic cones and delighted social media has gone back to sea, leaving a temporarily cone-free town in his wake.
Neil, the one-tonne southern elephant seal whose beachside antics have earned him millions of social media views and a reputation as Tasmania's most disruptive tourist attraction, has apparently returned to sea. The five-year-old spent several weeks at his usual twice-yearly haul-out spot in southern Tasmania, crushing signs and poles and lounging on suburban streets like he owned the place - which, to be fair, he sort of did.
On Thursday, Tasmania’s Department of Natural Resources and Environment (NRE) announced Neil's departure with all the solemnity of a royal exit: “Neil the Seal returned safely to sea last night. This is his natural behaviour and was expected.” He may still return or haul-out nearby in the short term, or he could head off to southern feeding grounds. The marine conservation program is monitoring the situation, but authorities can't directly track him - a satellite tag attached in 2023 fell off during his annual moult “as expected” and was recovered in 2024. Neil has been off the grid ever since, which is probably how he likes it.
When he was trackable, data showed Neil spent six months at sea, foraging over 1,600km from south-west Tasmania and covering more than 5,000km round trip. The NRE assures us this is “normal behaviour for a young male southern elephant seal,” which is code for “he's a free-range celebrity.”
Neil's departure came just as crowds of visitors reached potentially dangerous levels. Wildlife authorities had issued a firm warning to keep distance, noting euthanasia was a last resort if public safety couldn't be guaranteed. Neil was born in southern Tasmania without a colony - local colonies were wiped out by sealers in the 1800s - and is pre-programmed to return twice a year to rest and moult. Kris Carlyon, head of wildlife health and marine life at NRE, called Neil “potentially one of the first southern elephant seal pups to be born back in Tasmania,” adding, “Regardless of the resource burden and the challenges that Neil throws, we’re pleased to see him.”
Local authorities have asked anyone who spots Neil to contact the marine mammal hotline, and reminded the public to keep at least 20 metres away, keep dogs on a lead at least 50 metres away, and avoid blocking his access to water. Tasmanian Premier Jeremy Rockliff summed up the situation with characteristic understatement: “We’ll keep an eye out for him but otherwise the traffic cones and street signs of Tasmania can breathe a small sigh of relief. A big well done for everyone that has treated big Neil with respect and caution while he’s been on land.”
The Good Times
News in your inbox.
One sardonic roundup, delivered on your schedule. Free. Unsubscribe whenever your tolerance for wit runs out.
Already subscribed but we never reach your inbox? Check your spam folder and hit 'Not spam' (or 'Remove from spam') to bust us out of junk-mail purgatory. You'll be helping everyone else too.
Rewrite Article
Select parts to regenerate with a fresh AI pass. Translations will be updated automatically.
Generate AI Image
Creates a sardonic version of the article image using OpenAI.