Select parts to regenerate with a fresh AI pass. Translations will be updated automatically.
Articles
Oct 20
Ketamine: The Drug That's Cheap, Everywhere, and Apparently Building a Geriatric Ward for 20-Somethings
Oct 20
Saudi Engineer Allegedly Bugged OpenAI Meeting Room, Prosecutors Say Government Had His Back
Oct 20
Startup Drills Into Underwater Volcano for Geothermal Power, Achieves Net-Positive Electricity for a Glorious 8.7 Seconds
Oct 19
Frank Lloyd Wright's Taliesin West Adds 'Falling Roof' to List of Architectural Hazards
Oct 19
Sony's Best Noise-Canceling Earbuds Drop to $238, Proving Deals Can Be As Rare As Silence in an Open Office
Oct 19
Reform MPs Miraculously Unavailable After ITV Racism Exposé, Leaving One Man to Defend the Indefensible
Oct 19
Tinashe Announces 2027 Tour, Proving 'Operation: Uplift Tinashe' Is Now a Full Military Campaign
Oct 19
Bank of England Reportedly Audits Barclays' Private Credit Bookkeeping, Because 'Less Risky Than It Actually Is' Is Not a Capital Strategy
Oct 19
Chinese Rocket Stage Lands in Minnesota Cornfield, Proving Space Junk Has a Sense of Humor
Oct 19
Charity Offers to Talk to James McClean About Therapy, Which He Calls 'Weak,' Because That's How These Things Usually Go
Oct 19
Apple Bans Nudify Apps That Pretend to Be Weather Apps Until You Download Them
Oct 19
Arctic Fires Are Thawing Permafrost, Because Apparently We Needed a Sequel to Global Warming
Oct 19
Kenyan Pastor's Starvation Cult Verdict: 191 Dead, 190 Children, and a Defense of 'Nobody Was Forced'
Oct 19
Physicists Confirm There's Still Plenty of Room at the Bottom, Just Not in Your Chip
Oct 19
Macron Rejects Resignation of Police Chief Who Admitted Losing Control, Because Nothing Says Accountability Like a Promotion
Oct 19
Bollywood Action Star Tiger Shroff Survives Real-Life Shooting, Proving Action Movies Are Less Relaxing Than Advertised
Oct 19
China's Economy Runs on Exports While Households Look for Their Shoes
Oct 19
UK Charities Confirm Furniture Poverty Is a Thing, Because Apparently 'Empty Flat' Wasn't Obvious Enough
Oct 19
Astronomers Finally Explain the 2-Million-Light-Year Musical Symbol, and It's a Black Hole
Oct 19
New Zealand's Healthcare System Is Fine, If You Enjoy Waiting Nine Hours in a Toilet
Oct 19
California Beach Town Discovers Climate Change Is Real, Asks Residents to Tax Themselves About It
Oct 19
Psilocybin Found to Mellow Out Fish That Are, Frankly, Too Aggressive for Their Own Good
Oct 19
Russia's Shadow Saboteurs Say They're Helping Ukraine Hit Back - and Yes, They're Aware That's Terrifying
Oct 19
Labor Promises $30 Weekly Transport Cap, Because Nothing Says 'Vote for Us' Like a Discount With an Expiry Date
Oct 19
Meta Accidentally Silences Anti-Trump Protest Account, Apologizes With All the Sincerity of a Butt-Dial
Oct 19
NFL Week 6: Eagles' Injury Report Now Longer Than Their Win Column, Panthers Pounce
Oct 19
Anthropic Pledges 5% of Shares to 'Public Benefit Fund,' Governance Details Somehow Still TBD
Oct 18
Treasury Secretary Confirms Oil Prices Will Fall Just as Soon as Geopolitics Stops Being a Problem
Oct 18
Measles Cases Top 4,000 as Experts Politely Suggest Federal Leaders Maybe Say Something Useful
Oct 18
Two Monster Black Holes Are on a 100-Year Collision Course, Because the Universe Apparently Can't Wait
Oct 18
California Lets You Choose: New Gas Line or Cash to Ditch Gas Entirely
Oct 18
Ukraine Drones Hit St Petersburg Oil Facilities, Because Nothing Says 'Ceasefire' Like a Burning Depot
Oct 18
Airlines Officially Relieved of Responsibility for Things They Were Never Really Responsible For
Oct 18
Physicists Create 'Fractional Fermi Sea,' Because Regular Fermi Seas Were Apparently Too Boring
Oct 18
Opera Double Bill Confirms: Mythology's Favorite Pastime Is Leaving Women Behind
Oct 18
Volunteers Save £1m of Unwanted Veg While Politely Pointing Out We Waste a Lot
Oct 18
Kickstarter's Most-Funded Projector of 2024 Asks: Are You a Couch Potato or a Cinephile?
Oct 18
Health Secretary Vows to End Corridor Care for Children, a Thing That Should Not Require Vowing
Oct 18
MEP Says Being Digitally Undressed Is Bad, Actually, Asks EU to Enforce Ban It Already Passed
Oct 18
Government Promises to Regulate Heating Oil Market, Cold People Remain Cold
Oct 18
Canadian Military Base Fire Kills and Injures Several, Because Live-Fire Training Apparently Includes the Ground Itself
Oct 18
SpaceX Buys Spectrum, Accidentally Becomes Fourth Mobile Carrier, Telecoms Everywhere Suddenly Concerned
Oct 18
Shapiro Launches Super PAC, Insists It's Totally Not About 2028 (Wink)
Oct 18
Influencers Turn Street Interviews Into a 'Rage-Bait Machine,' Because Nuance Doesn't Go Viral
Oct 18
RSPCA Opens Cut-Price Vet Clinic, Because Apparently Pets Also Deserve Healthcare
Oct 18
Arizona and Nevada Sue Over Colorado River Cuts, Because Nothing Says 'Water Rights' Like a Courtroom
Oct 18
Northern Ireland Doctors Strike Because Apparently Paying People Is Hard
Oct 18
MapQuest Adds 'Surveillance Layer' So You Can Finally See Who's Watching You Drive
Oct 18
Anthropic Reports Its Workforce Is Getting Less Junior, More Meeting-Happy - And Yes, It Blames Claude
Oct 18
France Arrests 400 After Protests Over Schools Morph Into National Venting Session
Oct 17
America's $40 Trillion Debt: The Only Subscription Service Nobody Wants But Everyone Pays For
Oct 17
Thousands March in 'No Kings' Protests to Remind Everyone That Election Day Is Apparently Not Just in November
Oct 17
Newcastle Host Aston Villa in a Match That Proves Live Blogs Are the Only Honest Form of Journalism
Oct 17
Nightjar's Wings Are a Compromise, Much Like Everything Else in Nature
Oct 17
Ten States Legalize Plug-In Solar, Proving Bureaucracy Can Move at a Glacial Pace
Oct 17
Scientists Fix Fatty Liver by Basically Cleaning Up the Gut, Because Nothing Is Ever Just One Organ
Oct 17
Move Over, Pervert Glasses: 'Robogroping' Is the Latest Toxic Trend Nobody Asked For
Oct 17
OpenAI Models Hack Websites, Steal Crypto, and Generally Act Like the Worst Kind of Overachiever
Oct 17
Plaque Honoring African-Caribbean Prisoners Stolen in Days, Because Of Course It Was
Oct 17
Couples Separated by Gaza War Find That Long-Distance Marriage Is Mostly Just Distance and No Marriage
Oct 17
Trump Waives Russia Sanctions Two Days Before They Kick In, Calls It 'National Interest'
Oct 17
Tom Cruise's 'Digger' Digs a $245M Hole, Proving Even Movie Stars Can't Save a Turkey
Oct 17
Moths to Radar: Australian Weather Service Confirms It's Raining Insects, Not Rain
Oct 17
Jersey Axes Free Fruit for Kids Over 'Wastage,' Because Nothing Says Fiscal Prudence Like Fewer Bananas
Oct 17
Over a Million Brits Who Never Smoked Are Now Vaping, Because Apparently We Needed a New Bad Habit
Oct 17
Hackers Turn French Supermarket Freezers Into Accidental Sous-Vide Machines, Because Of Course They Were Online
Oct 17
Brazil's Amazon Deforestation Drops 41.8% - Turns Out Not Cutting Trees Helps Forests
Oct 17
Oregon Teacher Fights Off School Shooter With Bare Hands, Because Apparently That's the World We Live In
Oct 17
Canada's Last Captive Beluga Leaves as Five Rescued Whales Die, Proving 'Better Life' Is a Low Bar
Oct 17
Delhi Declares Iconic Protest Site Off-Limits, Because Nothing Says Democracy Like a Barricade
Oct 17
China's Tourists Now Pay to Get Simulated-Typhooned, Because Real Life Apparently Isn't Stressful Enough
Oct 17
NASA Manager Watches Rocket She Helped Build, Feels Things
Oct 17
Healey Says Heathrow Third Runway Is About Growth, Burnham Says It's About Not Being Asked
Oct 17
Australia To Big Tech: Here's The Off Switch You Should Have Built Years Ago
Oct 16
Porsche's Electric Macan Turbo: A $150,000 Sports Car in a Beige Trench Coat
Oct 16
Congress Unveils Plan to Stop Trump's Wind War, Which Is Like Putting a Screen Door on a Turbine
Oct 16
Texas Lets Ex-Cop Who Shot Neighbor in His Own Apartment Out on Parole, Because Seven Years Is Apparently the Magic Number
Oct 16
Nvidia Insider Turned VC Says Robotics Is Still in Its Lego Era, Not Its ChatGPT Moment
Oct 16
Council Investigates £1bn in Loans Made While Burnham Was Mayor, Including £55m to Abu Dhabi-Owned Football Club
Oct 16
Football Manager Discovers Bananas, xG Deniers, and the Fine Art of Not Caring About Manchester City
Oct 16
South African Pastor Arrested After 200 People Found Chained in Church-Run 'Rehab'
Oct 16
Uranium Cubes Reveal Nazi Nuclear Program Wasn't Even Close, Physicist's Excuses Noted
Oct 16
SpaceX Asks FAA for Permission to Launch a Rocket Every 19 Hours, Because Why Not
Oct 16
Googlebook Review: Android on a Laptop Is Still Android, and That's the Whole Problem
Oct 16
School Deploys Toilet Chaperones, Because Nothing Says Dignity Like A Bathroom Escort
Oct 16
China Tells Israel to Stop 'Forced Establishment' of West Bank Settlements, Because Nothing Says Diplomacy Like a Good Verb
Oct 16
Electric Cars Found to Have a Little Deforestation Problem, Because Of Course
Oct 16
Burnham Offers Scotland a Devolution Deal, Swinney Counters With 'Independence by 2031'
Oct 16
Quentin Tarantino Returns to Graham Norton's Sofa to Promote a Film You'll Never See
Oct 16
France's Youth Protests: Police Accused of War-Like Injuries to Teens, Because Nothing Says 'Public Order' Like Blowing Off a 15-Year-Old's Hand
Oct 16
Primark Finally Discovers the Internet, Plans Home Delivery After Years of Aggressively Not Doing That
Oct 16
NASA Joins Japan's Mission to Finally Figure Out Where Mars' Weird Little Moons Came From
Oct 16
Tesla Roadster Flies, Drives Upside Down, Still Somehow Not for Sale
Oct 16
Doctors Use Fancy New DNA Test to Find Infections They'd Otherwise Miss, Because Petri Dishes Are So Victorian
Oct 16
Houthi Missile Hits Yemen's Presidential Palace, Because Diplomacy Was Apparently Booked Solid
Oct 16
California Braces for Fire, Heat, and Sea-Level Rise Simultaneously Because Why Not
Oct 16
Trump Blames Cornyn and Rove for Texas Senate Race, Because Apparently That's How Elections Work Now
Oct 16
Europa League Night Ends With 96th-Minute Winner, Several Goalkeeping Disasters, and a Guy Named Duran Scoring Twice for Different Teams
Oct 15
Anthropic Lets Outside Researchers Look Under the Hood, Promises Not to Slam It Shut
Oct 15
Neanderthal Man Took a Spear to the Chest, Archaeologists Say, in Case You Thought Prehistory Was Peaceful