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Articles
Sep 24
NASA Unveils Telescope That Sees What Webb Can't, Because Apparently the Universe Needed Another Billion-Dollar Eye
Sep 23
Australia Pledges $60m to Ukraine, Because Apparently Being Nice Still Costs Money
Sep 23
Save the Children Gets Official Regulatory Slap on the Wrist After Staff Put at Risk in Yemen
Sep 23
Cybersecurity's Old Model Is Breaking, and Investors Are Throwing Money at the Fix
Sep 23
Bernie Sanders Proposes Prison Time for Anyone Building Skynet, Because That Always Works Out
Sep 23
USDA Recalls 167,000 Pounds of Meat That Somehow Skipped the Whole Inspection Thing
Sep 23
Shoegaze Band Announces 29-Song Mixtape, Proving 'Mixtape' Now Means 'Album With Friends'
Sep 23
Indigenous Communities Already Have Climate Solutions; World Still Has Excuses
Sep 23
Ancient Wall Found Under Paris, Because of Course It Was Under Paris
Sep 23
Missouri Redistricting Fight Returns to Supreme Court, Because Third Time's the Charm
Sep 23
Back-to-Work Czar Says Call Your Boss When Sick, Because Emails Apparently Aren't Human Enough
Sep 23
South Africa's Top Cop Charged With Rape and Grooming, Because Apparently Irony Is Dead
Sep 23
Solar System Picked Rocky Over Icy From Day One, Because Of Course It Did
Sep 23
Discord Rolls Out Age Verification to Everyone, Because Nothing Says 'Community' Like a Credit Card Scan
Sep 23
Surgeons Warn Cheap 'Bleph' Eyelid Surgery Abroad Is a Great Way to Pay Less and Get More, Like Open Wounds
Sep 23
Woman Regains Sea Access Via Brother, Proving Siblings Occasionally Useful
Sep 23
Country Diary Discovers Autumn's Fruit Bounty, Because Apparently Seasons Still Happen
Sep 23
LHC Rules Out Another Hiding Place for Quantum Black Holes, Universe Remains Annoyingly Unresolved
Sep 23
Ted Cruz Declares War on 'Right-Wing Socialism,' Reminds GOP That Santa Claus Isn't a Campaign Strategy
Sep 23
Young People Without the Bank of Mum and Dad Discover the Bank of Nowhere to Turn
Sep 23
Sri Lanka Sentences 15 to Centuries in Prison for Easter Bombings, Because Apparently 'Life' Wasn't Literal Enough
Sep 23
AI Giants Announce New Models That Cost Less, Do Slightly More, and Definitely Aren't Panicking About Cheap Rivals
Sep 23
Far-Right Activist Slashes Migrant Dinghy While Rescue Worker Onboard, Because Subtlety Is Dead
Sep 23
Medically Frail Medicaid Patients Must Now Prove They're Sick Enough to Skip Work Requirements, Lawsuit Says
Sep 23
Outkast Sue Ovrkast Over Name That's Definitely Not Confusing At All
Sep 22
NASA Working Group Recommends Fixing Astronaut Bodies Before Sending Them to the Moon
Sep 22
Scientists Want Your Wildlife Photos, Because Following Snakes Around Isn't Working
Sep 22
San Francisco Sues Trump Media for Selling Early Access to Trump's Posts, Because Apparently Insider Trading Is Just a Subscription Now
Sep 22
DoorDash Admits It Underpaid 264,000 New York Workers, Says 'We Screwed Up' in $131.5m Settlement
Sep 22
America's Water Systems Guarded by Passwords Like 'Password123,' Study Finds
Sep 22
Tim Westwood Faces Two More Historical Sex Charges, Bringing Total to 18
Sep 22
Pennsylvanians to AI Data Centers: We've Seen This Industrial Revolution Before, Thanks
Sep 22
Venomous Wasp Spider Moves North, Becomes Latest Climate Refugee Nobody Asked For
Sep 22
Diana's Brother Writes 400-Page Memoir, Somehow Makes It About Himself
Sep 22
Vets Forced to Cap Prescription Fees at £21, Because Apparently Transparency Is Cheaper Than Trust
Sep 22
Houseplant Hacks: Can Mirrors and Foil Really Boost Low Sunlight?
Sep 22
Jacinda Ardern Buys $5.3M Sydney Beach House, Proving Former Leaders Also Enjoy Expensive Real Estate
Sep 22
UK Government Borrows £18.3bn in August, Because Apparently Money Grows on Trees It Hasn't Planted Yet
Sep 22
Dutch Startup Morphotonics Raises €40M to Put Its Nanoimprint Stamps in Data Centers, Because Why Not
Sep 22
Europe Thinks Russia Is Testing NATO's Limits, Because Subtlety Is Apparently Dead
Sep 22
British Columbia Sues OpenAI Because Apparently 'We'll Look Into It' Isn't a Safety Policy
Sep 22
Australia's Grid Hits 80% Renewables, Proving Sun and Wind Can Actually Do the Thing
Sep 22
Brigitte Bardot Auction Raises €1m, Proving Dead Celebrities Still Outperform the Stock Market
Sep 22
Scientists Unravel Why Kent Meningitis Outbreak Was So Nasty, Because Bacteria Apparently Swapped Notes
Sep 22
NASA Explains Equinox, Confirms Sun Still Doesn't Care About Your Hemisphere Preferences
Sep 22
Australia's Prisons Still Shackle Women in Childbirth, Because Nothing Says 'Care' Like Handcuffs in the Delivery Room
Sep 22
Trump Predicts He'll Lose Lawsuit, Blames Judge He Appointed, Because of Course
Sep 22
Fed Official Confirms Inflation Still High, Economy Still Economy
Sep 22
Two Helicopter Pilots Killed in Yosemite Crash, Because Firefighting Apparently Wasn't Dangerous Enough
Sep 21
Meta's Muse Out-Downloads ChatGPT's Early Days, Because of Course It Does
Sep 21
Nuclear Startup Hires Samsung to Build Reactor So Google Can Keep Asking AI to Write Haikus
Sep 21
Fat Bear Week 2026 Opens, Because Democracy Wasn't Stressful Enough
Sep 21
Xhaka Investigated Over Allegedly Forged Covid Certificate, Because Nothing Says 'Captain' Like a Paperwork Scandal
Sep 21
Xbox Controller Bundle Basically Pays You $20 to Take a Gift Card
Sep 21
Black Holes, Regardless of Size, Apparently Follow the Same Jet-Setting Rule
Sep 21
Reform Wales Gets New Leader After Week That Included Arrest, Defection, and Probably Some Deep Breathing
Sep 21
Epstein Survivors Face Financial Ruin While Congress Offers Thoughts, Prayers, and a Bill That Won't Pass
Sep 21
Airlines Get New Excuse to Say 'Not Our Fault' as DOT Reclassifies 10 Flight Disruptions
Sep 21
Air Traffic Control Glitch Fixed, Ryanair Still Sharpening Its Knives
Sep 21
Japan Braces for Dujuan's Typhoon Encore While Atlantic Hurricane Season Takes an Unscheduled Nap
Sep 21
Documentary Confirms Living Without Electricity Is Bad, Kinshasa Residents Remain Heroically Unsurprised
Sep 21
Official Review Confirms Young People Aren't Snowflakes, Just Living in a Dumpster Fire
Sep 21
AI Eats All the Memory Chips, Apple Charges You £100 for the Privilege
Sep 21
Equinox Arrives, Immediately Undermines Its Own Branding
Sep 21
Australian Politicians Debate Fuel Excise While ACT Dangles $500,000 for Cold Cases
Sep 21
China's MeToo Movement Now Held in Private, Preferably With Art Supplies
Sep 21
Australia's Deaths to Outnumber Births by 2060s, Because Nothing Says 'Bright Future' Like a Demographic Deadline
Sep 21
France and Canada Forge Closer Ties While Trump Busy Redrawing Maps With a Sharpie
Sep 21
UK Government Says Stock Up on Beans and Tuna Because Climate Change Is Coming for Your Dinner
Sep 21
The Weeknd Samples 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' Theme, Because Of Course He Did
Sep 21
Trump to Form Health Funding Board That Can Veto 'Woke' Science, Because Peer Review Was Too Chill
Sep 21
TechCrunch Disrupt 2026 Offers $200 Discount, Proving Deadlines Still Work
Sep 21
World Model Companies Guard Secrets Like They're Hiding a Birthday Present Nobody's Getting
Sep 20
Dead Sea Scrolls Calendar Mystery Solved, Probably, After Only 2,000 Years of Asking
Sep 20
German Chancellor Vows to Stay After CDU's 'Disaster' in State Elections, Because Quitting Would Be Too Easy
Sep 20
America's $40 Trillion Debt Has One Solution, and It's the Tax Everyone Else Already Has
Sep 20
Baltic Spies Say Russia Is Preparing for 'More Decisive Action' in Europe, Which Is Definitely the Kind of Headline You Want Before Breakfast
Sep 20
Hurricane Hunters Identify 4 Warning Signs a Storm Is About to Get Its Act Together
Sep 20
Astrophysicist Explains Humanity's Place in the Cosmos, Reminds Us We're All Just Stardust With Anxiety
Sep 20
Liverpool Edge Bournemouth in a Match That Made 45 Minutes Feel Like a War Crime
Sep 20
Study Finds Eight Common Food Preservatives May Be Bad for Your Heart, Which Is Just Great News for Your Lunch
Sep 20
Google Analyst Goes Undercover in Hacking Gang, Discovers Criminals Are Also Bad at OpSec
Sep 20
T. rex Was Warm-Blooded, According to Its Teeth (Which Are Also Terrifying)
Sep 20
Lib Dems Promise 10p Fuel Duty Cut, Because Nothing Says 'Radical' Like Cheaper Petrol
Sep 20
20,000 Pregnant Women in England Disclose Domestic Abuse Annually, Midwives Expected to Fix It With a Clipboard and a Prayer
Sep 20
Child Dead, Two Children and Woman Critical After Blue Mountains Stabbing; Police Confirm They're Not Looking for Anyone Else
Sep 20
Chiltern Railways Joins Public Ownership, Because Nothing Says 'Growth' Like Nationalising Trains
Sep 20
NASA Releases Photo of Sun Doing a Lazy Figure-8 Over Ancient Scottish Stones
Sep 20
Ed Sheeran Admits 'Mistakes,' Addresses Macklemore Controversy at Philadelphia Show, Still Not Sure If He Wants to Be an Artist
Sep 20
Meta's Muse AI Is Creepy, But Only Because It Has No Idea What It's Talking About
Sep 20
Texas Court Rules Surrogate Baby Can Leave State for Heart Treatment, Because Apparently That Needed Litigating
Sep 20
Sea Dragons Wiped Out in Algal Bloom That Scientists Are Calling 'Mind-Blowing' (Because 'Catastrophic' Felt Inadequate)
Sep 20
Newsom Signs Election Security Bills, Because Apparently Protecting Democracy Is Now a Partisan Activity
Sep 20
Indian Mother Wins Race Barefoot, Accidentally Exposes Nation's Education System
Sep 20
Israeli President Pardons Combat Medic Who Shot Wounded Palestinian, Because Yom Kippur
Sep 20
Melbourne Friends Discover That Building a Triplex With Your Pals Is Harder Than It Looks, Still Worth It
Sep 20
Surveillance Company Offers Buyouts So Employees Can Leave Before They're Asked To
Sep 19
Inter Mount Comeback So Dramatic Even Roma Fans Briefly Forgot to Boo
Sep 19
Gemini Hacked Three Companies, Google Called It 'Mistaken Identity'
Sep 19
Tiny Space Rock's Rings Go on Mysterious Diet, Astronomers Mildly Alarmed