Few things strike terror into the human heart quite like a dementia diagnosis - except, perhaps, the reaction of everyone around you once you get one. Maxine Linnell, 78, a retired psychotherapist from Leicestershire, learned this four years ago when she was diagnosed. The condition itself was challenging enough, but the real kicker? The sudden shift in how people treated her. “What was striking was how many people’s attitudes changed almost immediately … they stop seeing you as a person and see only dementia, some professionals included. Like this is the end and everything after will be devastating.”
It turns out that assumption - that you go from diagnosis to late-stage dementia overnight - isn't just the domain of well-meaning but clueless family and friends. Julie Hayden, a nurse and social worker from Yorkshire, was diagnosed nine years ago at age 54, after years of being told her symptoms were depression or menopause because her doctors apparently still thought dementia only happened to people who'd already retired. “At the point of diagnosis,” she recalls, “most of us are told: ‘Well, it’s dementia, nothing we can do about that. Best go away and get your end of life affairs in order.’” Because nothing says “proper medical support” like a polite suggestion to update your will.