In a twist that surprises absolutely no one who has ever glanced at a rental listing, the cost of living in Cambridge has become so absurd that even people with full-time jobs are showing up at food banks. BBC Politics East reports that low-paid workers in the city - including those employed by the University of Cambridge itself - are struggling to eat without charitable assistance.

Hundreds of University of Cambridge workers are currently on strike, demanding a 'Cambridge weighting' pay supplement similar to the one Oxford already offers its staff. Because nothing says 'world-class institution' like having to picket outside a museum while your colleagues queue for canned soup.

Stephen Thornton, chairman of trustees at the Cambridge City Foodbank, noted that even households with employed people are now seeking subsidised food. 'People of modest means really struggle with the very high cost of rent,' he said, in what may be the understatement of the century.

Unite union member William Ridgeon, who joined the picket at The Fitzwilliam Museum, told the BBC he spends over half his salary on 'quite basic accommodation.' He added, 'I break even most months, so have no room for saving.' At this rate, his retirement plan is probably 'hope the food bank has a pension scheme.'

Oxford University introduced a £1,500 per year local pay supplement in 2024, which it later increased by 15% to £1,730 and extended to all non-clinical staff. Unite wants Cambridge to follow suit, because apparently the only thing worse than being paid poorly is being paid poorly while your rival institution's staff can afford to eat.

A University of Cambridge spokesman responded with the usual corporate empathy: 'We understand the challenges around cost of living, and have introduced several measures, including a supplement of 2.5% of basic pay for employees on lower pay grades, raising the minimum starting salary for research assistants and increasing paid family leave.' They also expressed a commitment to 'open and constructive dialogue,' which in union-speak means 'we'll talk until you give up.'

BBC Politics East will air on Sunday 24 May at 10:00 GMT on BBC One, presumably from a studio that costs less to heat than a Cambridge studio apartment.