More than a dozen former hockey players are suing the University of Michigan, alleging that their coach and other staff knew about sexual hazing that included the forced shaving of their genitals and other abuses by teammates - because apparently, nothing builds character like a ritualized assault.

"The abuse was ritualized, meticulously planned and sadistic … Enduring sexual abuse was required to be a member of the Michigan men's ice hockey team," attorney Michael Pitt said in a sex discrimination lawsuit filed Wednesday in federal court in Detroit. The plaintiffs are 16 men who played at Michigan between 1984 and 2001. The lawsuit apparently grew out of conversations among several former teammates in 2024, proving that some conversations are better late than never.

The university said the allegations are "disturbing," but denied responsibility. "To the extent any former student athlete engaged in hazing or other misconduct, they were violating university policy," spokesperson Paul Corliss said in a written statement. Ah yes, the classic "we had a policy against it, so it's not our fault" defense - a legal strategy as sturdy as a house of cards in a hurricane.

The 72-page document describes players being forced to consume excessive amounts of alcohol and eat live fish. A common allegation: they were forced to have hair around their genitals shaved by teammates. A player identified as John Doe 7 said he was taunted with a blowtorch while on a table. Because what's a little team bonding without a fire hazard?

The lawsuit says Red Berenson, who was coach from 1984 to 2017, was aware of the abuse and did not intervene. John Doe 3 said he told Berenson that he didn't want to participate in the hazing. The coach coerced him by telling him to be a "Michigan man" and a "good teammate," according to the lawsuit. Because nothing says "good teammate" like forcing someone to endure sexual abuse.

Berenson, 86, declined to comment when reached by the Associated Press. He told MLive.com there was a "certain element of initiation" by the team's seniors, but no one had complained to him. "Were there some mishaps? Were there some bad experiences? Possibly, but it wasn't a matter of direction or encouragement from the coaching staff or from the administration," Berenson, a former NHL player, said. Ah, "mishaps" - the word you use when you want to downplay felonies as minor inconveniences.

Berenson announced the end of "freshman hazing" in 2012, mostly referring to first-year players being forced to carry equipment and eat team meals last. He made no mention of physical abuse but acknowledged "captains that got too carried away," according to news reports at the time. "Got too carried away" - a phrase that really captures the spirit of allegedly enabling sexual assault.

The university could argue that the hockey players waited too long to file a lawsuit, a position it took in 2020 when former athletes sued over sexual misconduct committed decades earlier by a campus sports doctor. The university ultimately agreed to pay $490m to settle claims by more than 1,000 people. So, precedent suggests that waiting decades is not a winning strategy for the university - unless they're hoping for a different outcome this time.