In a move that will surprise absolutely no one who has ever watched a tech company promise to be environmentally friendly while simultaneously bulldozing a continent, Google has been ordered to temporarily halt work on two datacentres in Finland after failing to conduct the necessary environmental impact assessments (EIAs).

The datacentres, located in Muhos and Kajaani, are part of a €13bn (£11bn) project across multiple sites in northern Finland, because nothing says "we care about the planet" like a multi-billion-euro infrastructure sprawl in a fragile boreal ecosystem.

The Finnish Licensing and Supervision Authority (LVV) issued a notice on Tuesday demanding that Google "immediately suspend" - by 23 October at the latest - any "preparatory measures that significantly change the environment" at the two sites until the EIA is completed. Google has until next Wednesday to submit a written explanation, presumably in a font that's both apologetic and on-brand.

The trouble began when it emerged that Tuike Finland Oy, the company representing Google, had felled 330 hectares (815 acres) of forest in Muhos without completing an EIA. In Kajaani, the company has reportedly been logging just under 200 hectares (494 acres). That's a combined 530 hectares of trees that are now very much not standing.

The Finnish Association for Nature Conservation said the sites had been reduced to "sand", blaming the oversights on the "overheated" market for new datacentres. Tapani Veistola, the organisation's chief operating officer, described the Muhos site as "not a forest any more. It is a sand area." He added that the malpractice across both sites appeared to be a "systemic problem", driven by the enormous demand to build datacentres in Finland, which is leading companies to work as fast as possible and overwhelming small municipalities. "The main reason behind everything is the overheated market situation that makes companies speed up processes so much. Also a lack of expertise in municipalities," Veistola said.

Tommi Muilu, head of the environmental department at LVV, noted: "In our opinion, the measures in question will change the environment and cause impacts, the identification and assessment of which are among the key objectives of the EIA procedure." In other words, that's exactly what the EIA is for, and you can't just skip it because you're in a hurry.

If Google does not comply, LVV said it would consider enforcement proceedings and a fine - because nothing motivates a trillion-dollar company quite like the threat of a modest financial penalty.

In response, Google said in a statement that it "understands the concerns" and that it had "fallen short of our own high standards". Ah yes, the classic "we hold ourselves to a higher standard" defence, often deployed right after being caught doing the exact opposite.

The company added: "We will study the LVV's findings and follow their guidance. We acted in good faith under the Forestry Act, and ran nature surveys and put in place measures to protect high-value areas. As we continue our long-term work in the region, we are advancing our landscaping and biodiversity plans, which include tree planting across 130 hectares (321 acres) at Muhos."

So, to recap: 530 hectares lost, 130 hectares to be replanted. That's a net loss of 400 hectares, which we're sure the local ecosystem will just shake off. The EIA is ongoing and expected to be completed later this year, by which time the sand will presumably have been landscaped into something resembling a forest again - or at least a very tidy desert.