Prime Minister Andy Burnham is packing his bags for Berlin, where he'll sit down with German Chancellor Friedrich Merz on Thursday to discuss cyber-security threats and sabotage - presumably over a nice cup of tea and a shared sense of impending doom.

Downing Street says deeper co-operation on rising hybrid threats from Russia will be high on the agenda during Burnham's first official visit to Germany. Because if there's one thing that brings nations together, it's a common enemy with a knack for drones and disinformation.

Intelligence services in both countries have warned of escalating threats, including last month when Germany accused Russia of launching a drone fitted with explosives at Leipzig/Halle Airport. Nothing says 'diplomacy' like a flying explosive device.

The Berlin talks come just days after Burnham told the Labour Party's conference he wanted to set out options for a closer relationship with the EU later this year - including the prospect of eventually rejoining the bloc. Because why not add a little Brexit déjà vu to the mix?

A German government spokesman has said any future in-out referendum would be primarily a question for Britain, but that Berlin supports stronger ties between the UK and the EU. In other words: 'You do you, but we're here if you want to hang out.'

Burnham is set to be greeted with military honours at the German capital's Chancellery ahead of his first face-to-face meeting with the chancellor. Nothing like a bit of pomp to set the mood for talks about sabotage and espionage.

On Thursday, the two leaders will formally ratify the 2025 Kensington Treaty, a partnership committing both countries to tackle hostile activity through deeper cooperation on science, technology, defence, security and growth. Because nothing says 'partnership' like a legally binding document.

Speaking ahead of the visit, Burnham said the UK and Germany were 'joining forces to find, expose and disrupt' threats. He continued: 'Attacks on our infrastructure, our businesses and our democracies are not a distant threat. They reach into people's homes and workplaces, and they are designed to make us weaker and more divided.' Which is a fancy way of saying: 'They're coming for your Wi-Fi and your workplace, so pay attention.'

The talks come during a period in which Merz's own political future has come under intense scrutiny. Burnham replaced Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer in July after the former leader was forced out by his own MPs just two years after winning a landslide election victory. Similarly, Merz has faced persistent rumours he could be replaced by his party due to his poor approval ratings and following setbacks in regional elections. Although the chancellor appears to have overcome an immediate crisis in his leadership, questions remain over his future. So, two leaders with job security issues walk into a chancellery...

The security talks also come in a week when questions have been raised about Germany's reliability as an intelligence partner, following the bombshell arrest of a former spy chief on suspicion of espionage. August Hanning has been accused of espionage, treason and obtaining classified information for a foreign power, the German Federal Prosecutor's Office says. He ran the Federal Intelligence Service (BND) from 1998 to 2005 and has since been working as a private consultant. Because nothing says 'trustworthy ally' like your ex-spy chief getting busted for spying.

Merz vows to keep coalition together for Germany's 'democratic future' - which is a nice way of saying 'please don't let the government collapse while we're trying to talk about cyber threats.'

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