The Guardian Europe
Attorney General Todd Blanche refuses to promise independence from the White House, which is totally normal and definitely not a sign of a constitutional crisis.
The Guardian
Bill Cassidy caves to pressure, Blanche gets the nod, and the DOJ gets a boss who's 'not perfect' - but hey, at least the bar was on the floor.
The Guardian Europe
The UK's electronic tagging system is about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, and the government is still planning to release thousands of prisoners into its loving arms.
The Guardian
The Justice Department finally puts in writing what everyone already knew: the $1.8bn fund is dead, and Trump's tax audit immunity gets a retroactive trim.
TechCrunch
Two VW engineers allegedly made $300K trading on Rivian joint venture news before it was public - and Googled insider trading laws beforehand, because subtlety is hard.
The Guardian
Axel Rudakubana, the Southport killer, gets a hospital upgrade from prison, because apparently murdering three kids and a ricin hobby qualifies you for taxpayer-funded therapy.
The Verge
The FBI may stop investigating ICE agents, leaving the agency to investigate itself - a system that has always worked flawlessly for everyone involved.
The Atlantic
Todd Blanche's confirmation hearings arrive with a backdrop of subpoenas, raids, and a White House that treats press freedom like a suggestion.
The Guardian Europe
The Pentagon and DOJ form a joint taskforce to prosecute press leaks, because nothing says 'sacred trust' like subpoenaing journalists who report on security flaws in the president's new plane.
The Hill
Chemours coughs up $450M for polluting drinking water with PFAS, the chemicals that last longer than the company's denials.
The Guardian
Probation officers in England and Wales are overworked to the point of putting the public at risk, the union says, as the government prepares to tag thousands more ex-offenders.
The Guardian
UK prison report details overcrowding, vermin, and violence, prompting reforms that feel less like solutions and more like rearranging deck chairs on a sinking ship.
The Guardian
Trump picks his personal lawyer to be attorney general, because the DOJ's motto should apparently be 'To Protect and Serve the President.'
The Guardian
Pam Bondi tells Congress the Epstein files had 'redaction errors' but insists she wasn't really in charge, while refusing to answer questions about Trump's involvement.
The Atlantic
DOJ investigates E. Jean Carroll for perjury after she won $90 million in civil cases against Trump, because nothing says justice like a politically motivated probe overseen by a prosecutor with a history of misconduct.
TechCrunch
A Google engineer allegedly used confidential search data to make $1.2M on Polymarket, proving that some employees really do know how to find the answers.
The Verge
A coalition of states asks a federal judge to force Live Nation-Ticketmaster to sell off venues and stop its monopoly antics, because the ticket fees have gotten ridiculous.
BBC Politics
The UK government's new youth justice plan threatens parents with jail time for their kids' crimes, despite critics noting voluntary engagement works better. Because prison is famously great for family stability.
The Guardian
Umer Khalid, with limb-girdle muscular dystrophy, claims Wormwood Scrubs forces him to crawl for meds - making a stray dog seem better off.
The Atlantic
FBI Director Kash Patel distributes personalized Ka$h-branded Woodford Reserve bourbon to staff and civilians, uses DOJ planes for transport, and once lost his mind over a missing bottle - because nothing says law-enforcement integrity like a…
The Good Times
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