The Guardian
A United Airlines passenger tried to breach the cockpit mid-flight, resulting in a detour to Madison, Wisconsin, where law enforcement had a polite chat and everyone else eventually made it to Minneapolis.
Ars Technica
European cops hack a VPN that promised criminals total anonymity, grab its user database, arrest the admin, and send 506 cybercriminals an unpleasant surprise.
TechCrunch
Grafana Labs gets hacked, but the stolen code is already open source, so the ransom demand is basically asking people to pay for something they can get for free.
The Guardian
FBI Director Kash Patel falsely accuses Senator Chris Van Hollen of drinking on the taxpayer dime, but it turns out catering a holiday party for staff with campaign funds is not, in fact, a crime.
The Atlantic
FBI Director Kash Patel distributes personalized Ka$h-branded Woodford Reserve bourbon to staff and civilians, uses DOJ planes for transport, and once lost his mind over a missing bottle - because nothing says law-enforcement integrity like a…
The Good Times
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The Good Times
One sardonic roundup, delivered on your schedule. Free. Unsubscribe whenever your tolerance for wit runs out.