A group of Italian nuns is locked in a celestial battle with local authorities over a beach club they've run since 1946, proving that even the devout aren't immune to the EU's bureaucratic reach.

The dispute, dubbed 'a holy war' by local press, centers on Bagni Gino Garrone, a 50-metre stretch of sand in the Ligurian town of Spotorno, managed by nuns from the Suore di Carità di Santa Maria order. The council, citing EU beach concession laws and regional free-beach quotas, has put the concession up for public bidding, much to the sisters' chagrin.

The nuns, who've been renting out loungers and umbrellas like any other private concession, claim their proceeds fund charitable works, including an infant school and a summer beach camp. But with the regulation that exempted them from commercial rules now defunct, Mayor Mattia Fiorini has told them they must compete in a public tender if they want to keep their sandy fiefdom.

During a public debate, Sister Miranda, a nun in her 80s, challenged the mayor: 'It's ours. Why does the municipality want to take away our beach? If they do, we won't even be able to keep the school running.' Fiorini, unmoved, insisted they participate in the tender 'like everyone else,' scheduled for autumn.

The mayor's plan would make Spoturno an early adopter of the EU's Bolkestein directive, which requires Italy to put private beach concessions out to tender by 30 June 2027. Successive Italian governments, bowing to powerful concession owners, have resisted this for two decades, but Giorgia Meloni's administration finally caved under pressure from Brussels and domestic courts.

Operating as a 'free equipped beach' - where access is free and visitors can optionally rent loungers - would be far less profitable, the nuns argue. So now, the sisters face a choice: compete in the secular marketplace or pray for a miracle. As the old saying goes, 'God helps those who help themselves' - but apparently, He's not much help with EU directives.