When Sarah Reeve got engaged, she gave fiancé Lee an ultimatum that would make any debt collector proud: pay off his £2,000 bank loan (roughly £4,000 in today's money) or no wedding. Lee, who had taken the loan to buy a car, was given two years to clear it. He did, and the couple tied the knot. Now, 25 years later, Sarah is the family's financial czar, handling bills, savings, and budgeting because, as Lee put it, "I'm rubbish with it."

Sarah's experience is hardly unique. According to St James's Place's Women and Wealth Report, more than four fifths of women are actively involved in managing daily finances. Sarah earns £24,000 part-time in insurance; Lee, after 27 years at a factory making £26,000, was made redundant four years ago and now earns about £30,000 in property maintenance. The couple, with two daughters aged 19 and 21, treat all money as shared. Sarah took four years off work after having children, and they've always made regular mortgage overpayments.

But being the financially responsible one has its downsides. Sarah wishes Lee would take more ownership, as "I feel like it's all down to me." Lee, unfazed, says, "I met you and I had nothing, so I don't care if I have nothing." Still, Sarah felt the pressure of planning for their future. She had "a little pot of money" but lacked confidence in investing. St James's Place's research of 6,000 people found only 44% of women feel confident making investment changes alone, versus 63% of men. After her widowed mother saw a financial adviser, Sarah decided to seek advice herself, initially thinking she needed half a million to do so. The adviser helped shift their focus from day-to-day saving to long-term planning. Their daughters have absorbed Sarah's money smarts: the eldest saved while working part-time at Waitrose and bought her first home. Sarah's biggest lesson? Don't ignore debt or assume money habits will sort themselves out. "You have to think about a goal, what you want and how you're going to get there," she says.