Six Flags Magic Mountain, the California amusement park where thrill-seeking meets potential neurosurgery, has announced it will permanently close its X2 rollercoaster after hundreds of riders alleged they suffered brain injuries. The ride, which features seats that spin 360 degrees and wait times long enough to reconsider your life choices, has been closed since July.

The park said the ride had passed a range of safety tests, but decided to retire it because it was "the right thing to do" - a phrase that, in corporate-speak, often translates to "the lawsuits were getting expensive." Park President Brian Oerding said in Tuesday's announcement: "Ride safety is a cornerstone of our business, and when we see guest confidence affected, we take it seriously." Guest confidence, in this case, presumably meaning the ability to remember your own name after the ride.

The decision follows lawsuits and news reports alleging that hundreds of riders suffered brain injuries after riding X2. Dordick Law Corporation, which filed civil lawsuits against the park, said it had been contacted by hundreds of people who believed their injuries were caused by the ride. "They got on X2 expecting a thrill. Instead, they left with catastrophic brain injuries," the firm said in a statement. "Some needed emergency brain surgery. Some are still fighting to get their lives back." The firm welcomed the closure to protect future guests but noted it "does nothing for the people who have already been hurt." A sentiment that is, unfortunately, not rocket science.

Originally called X, the ride first opened in 2002 but was closed months later for repairs to design flaws, according to the Los Angeles Times. It was closed again in 2007 to replace its trains with lighter versions, then reopened the following year as X2. Since then, more than 16 million people have ridden it, the park said - a statistic that now reads less like a bragging point and more like a public health footnote.

A law firm that represented the family of 22-year-old Christopher Hawley, who died after riding X2 in 2022, said the closure was not enough. Attorney Brent Wisner of Wisner Baum LLP told the BBC: "While the Hawley family is relieved to hear that Six Flags is finally closing the X2, it does not change the fact that Christopher Hawley was killed by a dangerous roller coaster that was allowed to operate for nearly two decades." Hawley's family settled a wrongful death suit with the theme park in August. Wisner called for legal reform, proactive regulation, and proper governmental oversight, adding: "We cannot rely on profit-centered corporations to do the right thing only after enough people have been hurt. We hope that whatever replaces the X2 is safe." A hope that, given the track record, feels less like a given and more like a dare.