In a development that will surprise absolutely no one who has ever watched a senior official exit stage left, former cabinet secretary Lord Wormald received a record pay-off of nearly £860,000 after being forced out of his job by Sir Keir Starmer - just 14 months after the then-prime minister appointed him. Because nothing says "bold and ambitious long-term reform" like a swift, expensive goodbye.

The Cabinet Office's accounts show the package included "contractual compensation" of £332,897 and "additional severance" of £526,598. The BBC understands the size of the pay-off was partly to cover Lord Wormald's pension contributions, as his removal essentially cut his civil service career short. He was also compensated for a mandatory "waiting period" following his departure from government - a period during which, as cabinet secretary, he would have had regular access to sensitive information about national security, foreign policy, and the UK economy. So, essentially, paid gardening leave for someone who knew where all the bodies were buried.

His salary for the period 1 April 2025 to 13 February was between £210,000 and £215,000, bringing his total for the year to more than £1m. A Cabinet Office spokesperson said: "We do not comment on HR matters. The permanent secretary at the Cabinet Office received a ministerial direction from the then-prime minister to proceed with the payment to the former cabinet secretary. Their exchange of letters is a matter of public record." The accounts state Sir Keir authorised the "special severance package" on 16 February.

A note in the accounts also states: "The former cabinet secretary elected to take early payment of his pension. The majority of the total severance payment was used to ensure he could access the full value of his pension that would have been due at normal retirement age, rather than it being reduced for early payment." In other words, the taxpayer kindly ensured that early retirement didn't come with early-retirement penalties. How thoughtful.

Conservative shadow Cabinet Office minister Alex Burghart said: "Chris Wormald was just one of many civil servants and advisers fired by Keir Starmer as he tried to save his own skin. This payout is another appalling waste of taxpayers' money by Labour." The BBC has approached Lord Wormald and Sir Keir for comment.

For those unfamiliar with the role, the UK's top civil servant sits next to the prime minister during cabinet meetings, which usually take place weekly in Downing Street when Parliament is sitting. They are responsible for ensuring policy decisions are put into action and are ultimately responsible for all civil servants in Great Britain. At the time of his appointment in December 2024, Sir Keir said Lord Wormald would be tasked with "the complete re-wiring of the British state to deliver bold and ambitious long-term reform." As a career civil servant, some questioned whether he was the best person to reform the Civil Service. Those questions, it turns out, were entirely valid.

Lord Wormald was replaced in February, making him the shortest-serving cabinet secretary in the history of the post. The FDA Union, which represents senior civil servants, responded to his departure by criticising "anonymous briefings" against him and called his treatment "a new low for this government and its relationship with the Civil Service." He was replaced by Dame Antonia Romeo.

In a final twist that feels almost too on-the-nose, Lord Wormald was later given a seat in the House of Lords in one of Sir Keir's last acts as prime minister. He will be an independent crossbench peer and is scheduled to formally take his seat on Thursday. Because if there's one thing the British state excels at, it's rewarding a job well done - or, in this case, a job abruptly ended with a seven-figure farewell.