In a bold move that historians will likely compare to the storming of Normandy, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has decided that airport security officers who check IDs and boarding passes will no longer be allowed to sit down while working. The agency confirmed the policy change is meant to keep officers "alert," presumably because the previous arrangement - where a human being sat in a chair - was apparently indistinguishable from a coma.

"This welcome change reinforces both our security posture and our commitment to hospitality by having these officers on their feet and alert," a TSA spokesperson told ABC News, accidentally inventing a new definition of hospitality that involves denying people basic furniture. The statement added that all officers must meet fitness for duty requirements to perform their "vital national security function while simultaneously creating a welcoming and professional environment for travelers." Nothing says "welcome to America" like a weary officer who's been standing for eight hours and now hates you specifically.

The American Federation of Government Employees Council (AFGEC), the union representing TSA officers, was not amused. In a statement, the union noted it wasn't consulted on the decision and pointed out the obvious: "These chairs serve as basic ergonomic and safety support for officers that stand and walk on hard surfaces all day." The union called the move a "disregard for employee rights and safety" and a "broad pattern of TSA's true consideration of the employees who keep our nation safe." Because nothing says "we value you" like taking away your chair and calling it a privilege.

This comes after a genuinely brutal year for the TSA. The agency endured a 76-day government shutdown from February to April, during which officers worked without pay. Some didn't show up for unpaid duty or quit outright, and security lines stretched across the country. TSA workers were finally paid at the end of March after a presidential order from Donald Trump, and the shutdown ended on 30 April after the US House passed a bill funding the Department of Homeland Security. So, to recap: no pay for months, then back to work, then no chairs. The circle of life.

Meanwhile, the union is also raising alarms over a new program expanding privatization of security checkpoints at three airports. The AFGE has been reviewing legal options to fight the Trump administration's privatization push. As TSA workers navigate these growing changes, the union is urging congressional and senatorial leaders to join its "collective resistance" against the administration.

"This is an opportune time to meet with members and non-members alike to tell and show them the importance of joining this union to form our collective resistance against this regime that is literally attempting to take out our workforce through whichever means possible," the union concluded. Which, to be fair, now includes the radical act of standing up.