The Guardian
Australia Pledges $60m to Ukraine, Because Apparently Being Nice Still Costs Money
Australia throws another $60m at Ukraine, because apparently freedom isn't free - it's just heavily subsidized by embarrassed world leaders.
2026-09-23
The Guardian
2026-08-27
The Guardian
Tour Operator Loses Contact With 15 Australians Aged 11 to 63 Amid Nepal Flooding; PM Offers Consular Assistance
15 Australians aged 11-63 vanish in Nepal floods; PM offers help, but numbers remain unclear, so it's a bit of a guessing game.
2026-08-16
The Guardian
Hanson Proposes Letting Aussies Raid Their Super for Groceries, Because Why Save for Retirement When You Can Buy Avocado Toast Now?
Pauline Hanson wants Australians to raid their retirement savings for groceries, while the PM talks guns. Priorities, people.
2026-07-10
The Guardian
Albanese Skips Garma Festival, Breaking Promise That Was Probably Written in Pencil
Albanese breaks Garma promise, Telstra investigates death during outage, and politicians clarify they want to get rid of the government, not join it.
2026-06-18
The Guardian
Australia Gives Small Businesses a Tax Break, Which Is Definitely Not a Political Apology
Australia's PM Albanese offers CGT exemptions to 2.7 million small businesses after backlash, costing $475 million but buying some peace.
2026-06-08
The Guardian
Australia's Political Class Unites to Condemn 'Ditch the Witch' Billboard Campaign, Because Apparently We're Still Doing This
Fifteen years after Julia Gillard was called a witch on a sign, a truck-mounted billboard in Melbourne brings the same tired trope back, complete with AI-generated warts and a brothel ad sponsorship.
2026-06-03
The Guardian
Bank Says Government's Housing Plan Will Slash Prices More Than Treasury Admitted (Which Is Either Good or Bad News, Depending on Whether You Own a House)
Commonwealth Bank says the government's tax changes will hit house prices twice as hard as Treasury predicted, while Albanese and Chalmers spend the morning yelling at Trump's tariffs and the youngest murderer in Australian history gets sent back to…
2026-05-28
The Guardian
Treasury says 90% of young Aussies will be better off under Labor tax reforms - the other 10% can start a podcast
Treasury modelling says 90% of young Australians win under Labor's tax reforms; the other 10% are probably property investors with a podcast about negative gearing.
2026-05-21
The Guardian
Queensland Minister Tim Mander Plays the Ultimate 'Not It' Card, Refers Himself to Federal Police Over Enrolment Allegations
Queensland minister refers himself to federal police over electoral allegations; PM plays coy on fuel excise; Avalon Airport evacuated over suspicious item.
2026-05-13
The Guardian
Albanese Insists 700,000 New Gen Z Voters Had Nothing to Do With Tax Changes, Despite Timing
PM denies Gen Z voters influenced budget tax tweaks, Coles faces discount deception verdict, and a royal commission defines antisemitism - just another Tuesday in Australian politics.
The Guardian
Australian Budget Day Delivers Screaming Matches, Bank Stock Bloodbath, and a Senator Who Needs More 'Data' on Conspiracy Theories
Australia's budget debate features shouting matches, a senator who can't rule out conspiracy theories without a spreadsheet, and bank stocks taking a dive because property speculators might actually have to pay tax.
2026-05-08
The Guardian
Julie Bishop Resigns as ANU Chancellor, Proving Even Universities Can Have a Rough Week
Julie Bishop resigns as ANU chancellor amid ongoing turmoil, Anika Wells repays $10k for travel oopsies, and the PM defends both while plugging a $3.8bn train project.
2026-05-07
The Guardian
Federal Budget to Gift Melbourne's Giant Hole-in-the-Ground Another $3.8 Billion
Australia's federal budget is about to shovel another $3.8 billion at Melbourne's Suburban Rail Loop - a project so controversial and expensive it has its own fan club of critics.
The Guardian
Gas Companies Forced to Share 20% of Exports with Locals, Because Apparently Sharing Is Caring Now
Australia tells gas companies to share 20% of exports with locals, because apparently the free market needed a little nudge.
2026-05-05
The Guardian
Jewish Woman Tells Royal Commission That ‘They Came to Kill Us’ as Australia’s Bondi Attack Haunts Daily Life
A Jewish woman tells a royal commission that the Bondi attack has left her family terrified, Westpac warns of recession, Pauline Hanson eyes a lower-house run, and Japan’s PM trades AC/DC records for melons with Albanese.
2026-04-29
The Guardian
PM Albanese Rules Out Gas Tax, Calls Citizens 'Populist' for Wanting Fair Share
PM Albanese tells Australians they can't have a gas export tax because it might upset the companies selling their gas, while calling anyone who disagrees 'populist.'
The Good Times
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