The Guardian Europe
Iran War: The Six-Month Clusterf*ck in One Timeline
Six months of strikes, threats, and failed diplomacy - because who needs oil when you have principles?
2026-08-28
The Guardian Europe
2026-08-24
The Guardian Europe
Iran's Rial Hits Record Low as US Treasury Secretary Promises 'Economic D-Day' - the Sequel Nobody Asked For
Iran's rial hits rock bottom, gold shines, Thames Water shuffles deckchairs, and New Zealand tries to ban kids from social media - all in a day's work for the global economy.
2026-08-23
BBC Business
Iran-Linked Hackers Shut Down UK Power Plant, Because Who Needs Electricity Anyway?
Iran-linked hackers reportedly shut down a UK power plant for four days, and the government is now advising power companies to maybe, perhaps, consider cybersecurity.
2026-08-22
The Guardian
Trump Declares Strait of Hormuz 'American Territory' - Because Nothing Says Sovereignty Like a Naval Blockade
Trump claims the Strait of Hormuz as 'American territory' while blockading it, and Iran's response is basically 'delusions of grandeur.'
2026-08-20
BBC Business
Trump Announces 'Most Crushing' Economic Operation Against Iran, and Also the Entire Planet, Probably
Trump threatens 'most crushing' economic operation against Iran and any country that helps it, while failing to specify what that means - classic.
2026-08-16
BBC World
Qatar Denies Capturing Iranian Pilots, Claims It Was Just 'Defending Airspace'
Iran says Qatar is holding three pilots hostage; Qatar says it was just defending its airspace, and also, can we talk about the remains?
2026-08-15
The Guardian
Trump Plans to Add Strait of Hormuz to US Real Estate Portfolio
Trump eyes a new beachfront property: the Strait of Hormuz, international waters be damned.
2026-08-14
The Guardian Europe
Patriot Missiles: Ukraine's Best Friend Until They Weren't, Now Everyone's Got Their Hands Out
Ukraine's Patriot missiles ran out just when everyone else needed them too - turns out NATO's 'wait and see' approach has consequences.
2026-08-11
The Guardian
Trump Reportedly Evades Assassination Threat by Hiding in Catering Cart, Because Air Force One Is Too Mainstream
Trump reportedly dodged an Iranian assassination threat by hiding in a catering cart for a secret flight, because why not add 'airport catering cart' to the presidential escape repertoire?
2026-08-10
The Guardian Europe
Trump Signs Order to Split MMR Vaccine, Citing Autism Myth That Won't Die
Trump signs order to split MMR vaccine and ditch other shots, citing an autism myth that science has repeatedly debunked, while also juggling Iran compensation demands and a congressman's domestic violence scandal.
2026-08-09
The Guardian Europe
‘Like Being in Prison’: 20,000 Seafarers Trapped in Gulf as Iran Standoff Drags On
20,000 seafarers are trapped in the Gulf as Iran's blockade drags on - because nothing says 'peace deal' like abandoning ship crews to missile fire.
2026-08-07
The Atlantic
Iran Sends Love Letters to Jordan, Missiles Not Included
Iran bombs Jordan, then sends love letters and thanks for targeting tips, hoping to woo the locals - because nothing says romance like a missile strike.
The Guardian Europe
Houthis Turn Yemen Into a Pinball Machine, Saudi Arabia Warns of More High-Score Attacks
Houthi attacks in Yemen and Saudi Arabia kill dozens and injure civilians, while Saudi Arabia braces for more coordinated strikes and everyone pretends peace is just around the corner.
2026-08-06
The Guardian
Iran Says Hormuz Deal With Oman 'Close', Which Definitely Means It's Basically Done, Right?
Iran and Oman are 'close' to a Hormuz deal, but Iran also says Trump's claims are premature, while everyone else in the region keeps blowing things up. Diplomacy at its finest.
UN News
Iran's Execution Machine Humming Along Nicely, Thanks for Asking
Iran's death penalty is on a roll, with the UN asking 'please stop' - but the executions continue, because fear is the new black.
2026-08-02
BBC World
Trump Calls Off Iran Strikes, Says Deal 'Rapidly' Forthcoming - Which Definitely Never Happens
Trump calls off Iran strikes, claims a deal is imminent, while everyone else prepares for the worst - because 'rapidly' in diplomacy means 'maybe never.'
2026-07-30
The Guardian Europe
Saudi Arabia Plans Big Push in Yemen, Because Apparently the Last Decade Was Just a Warm-Up
Saudi Arabia prepares another round of 'let's see if this works' in Yemen, complete with naval coalitions and land offensives, while the Houthis play blockade games.
2026-07-27
BBC Business
Home Heating Oil Prices Spike £100 in Three Weeks, Because of Course They Did
Home heating oil prices in Northern Ireland jump £100 in three weeks because US-Iran tensions and Houthi attacks make winter heating a luxury again.
2026-07-25
The Atlantic
Trump's Strait of Hormuz Strategy: A Masterclass in Repeating Mistakes Louder
Trump resumes bombing Iran despite previously admitting it wouldn't work, while economic reserves dwindle and Gulf states get sweetheart nuclear deals.
2026-07-24
UN News
UN Experts to Iran: Maybe Don't Execute the Protesters? Just a Thought
UN experts ask Iran to stop executing protesters. Iran likely ignores request. More at 11.
The Good Times
News in your inbox.
One sardonic roundup, delivered on your schedule. Free. Unsubscribe whenever your tolerance for wit runs out.
Already subscribed but we never reach your inbox? Check your spam folder and hit 'Not spam' (or 'Remove from spam') to bust us out of junk-mail purgatory. You'll be helping everyone else too.