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Articles
Oct 16
South African Pastor Arrested After 200 People Found Chained in Church-Run 'Rehab'
Oct 16
Uranium Cubes Reveal Nazi Nuclear Program Wasn't Even Close, Physicist's Excuses Noted
Oct 16
SpaceX Asks FAA for Permission to Launch a Rocket Every 19 Hours, Because Why Not
Oct 16
Googlebook Review: Android on a Laptop Is Still Android, and That's the Whole Problem
Oct 16
School Deploys Toilet Chaperones, Because Nothing Says Dignity Like A Bathroom Escort
Oct 16
China Tells Israel to Stop 'Forced Establishment' of West Bank Settlements, Because Nothing Says Diplomacy Like a Good Verb
Oct 16
Electric Cars Found to Have a Little Deforestation Problem, Because Of Course
Oct 16
Burnham Offers Scotland a Devolution Deal, Swinney Counters With 'Independence by 2031'
Oct 16
Quentin Tarantino Returns to Graham Norton's Sofa to Promote a Film You'll Never See
Oct 16
France's Youth Protests: Police Accused of War-Like Injuries to Teens, Because Nothing Says 'Public Order' Like Blowing Off a 15-Year-Old's Hand
Oct 16
Primark Finally Discovers the Internet, Plans Home Delivery After Years of Aggressively Not Doing That
Oct 16
NASA Joins Japan's Mission to Finally Figure Out Where Mars' Weird Little Moons Came From
Oct 16
Tesla Roadster Flies, Drives Upside Down, Still Somehow Not for Sale
Oct 16
Doctors Use Fancy New DNA Test to Find Infections They'd Otherwise Miss, Because Petri Dishes Are So Victorian
Oct 16
Houthi Missile Hits Yemen's Presidential Palace, Because Diplomacy Was Apparently Booked Solid
Oct 16
California Braces for Fire, Heat, and Sea-Level Rise Simultaneously Because Why Not
Oct 16
Trump Blames Cornyn and Rove for Texas Senate Race, Because Apparently That's How Elections Work Now
Oct 16
Europa League Night Ends With 96th-Minute Winner, Several Goalkeeping Disasters, and a Guy Named Duran Scoring Twice for Different Teams
Oct 15
Anthropic Lets Outside Researchers Look Under the Hood, Promises Not to Slam It Shut
Oct 15
Neanderthal Man Took a Spear to the Chest, Archaeologists Say, in Case You Thought Prehistory Was Peaceful
Oct 15
Company Sells 'Guaranteed' Healthcare Jobs That Never Existed, Because Apparently That's a Business Model Now
Oct 15
Apple Finally Puts a Touchscreen on a MacBook, Because the iPad Was Apparently Too Easy to Use
Oct 15
Russia's Mystery Plague Death Reminds World That Germs Don't Care About Your Geopolitical Feud
Oct 15
Drone Attack Sets Chemical Tanker Ablaze Off Romania, Because the Black Sea Was Apparently Too Peaceful
Oct 15
Space Propulsion Company Discovers Seattle, Where Aerospace Engineers Apparently Live
Oct 15
Texas Democrat Answers Voter Questions, Because Apparently That's Still a Thing
Oct 15
Belgian Pop Star Angèle Attempts to Conquer the Anglosphere, Armed with Justice and a Dream
Oct 15
Nuclear Plants Asked to Squeeze Out More Power, Because AI Can't Stop Talking
Oct 15
Six Wild Ideas for Living Forever, Because Dying Is Apparently So Last Century
Oct 15
Senegal's LGBTQ+ Crackdown: 320 Arrests, Forced HIV Testing, and a Government Shooting Itself in the Foot
Oct 15
Figma Unveils Markdown Editor So AI Agents Can Finally Read the Design Bible
Oct 15
Poland's Economy Now Looks Down on Stalin's Palace, Which Is Probably the Healthiest Form of Revenge
Oct 15
Trump Announces Ukraine Ceasefire Nobody Agreed To, Putin Responds With Power Plant Fireworks
Oct 15
Study Finds Ozempic and Wegovy Might Very Rarely Mess With Your Vision, Because Of Course
Oct 15
Trump Rallies Voters, Lies About a Senate Candidate, and Accepts a Free Plane Because 'When You're Giving Gifts, You Take Them, Right?'
Oct 15
Paddington: The Musical Heads to Sydney, Australians Asked to Guard Their Marmalade
Oct 15
Eight States Sue OpenAI, Because Apparently Someone Had to
Oct 15
Startup Builds 10 GWh Battery Factory to Power Data Centers That Apparently Can't Just Use a Really Long Extension Cord
Oct 15
Starlink Blinks, Ukraine Panics, Trump Rallies, and Inflation Refuses to Read the Room
Oct 14
Apple's HomeView Smart Display Is Already $10 Off, Because Nothing Says 'Revolutionary' Like a Tiny Discount
Oct 14
White House Economist Finds 'Whole Bunch of Good News' in Report Showing Inflation Rose to 3.7%
Oct 14
Great White Shark Closes California Beach, Proving Once Again That Nature Has No Respect for Our Plans
Oct 14
Man Dies of Eye Cancer After NHS Wales Forgets Follow-Up, Because Who Needs Six-Month Reminders?
Oct 14
Northern Ireland Secretary Says No More Money, Executive Says No More Excuses
Oct 14
Humble Bundle Offers $15 Worth of Games You'll Actually Play, Plus Other Deals You Probably Don't Need
Oct 14
Epic Games Launcher Gets 'Vibe Coded' Overhaul, Because Programming Is Hard
Oct 14
California's Insurance Market Is on Fire, and the Guy Who Regulates It Is on the Ballot
Oct 14
SpaceX Puts Speed Limit on Starlink, Because Nothing Says 'Support Ukraine' Like a 100mph Cap
Oct 14
Tiny Cargo Ebike Hauls Nine Times Its Weight, Still Fits in a Montero
Oct 14
Wayfair Fined £4.8m for 'Limited Time' Offers That Were Apparently Very Limited in Honesty
Oct 14
Russell Brand Arrives at Court for Rape and Sexual Assault Trial, Feeling 'Concerned but Hopeful'
Oct 14
Swimmer With Inoperable Brain Tumours to Meet PM, Because Apparently Begging on TV Works
Oct 14
UK's 'One In, One Out' Asylum Deal Dies at 423 Days, Replaced by More Riot Police and Vibes
Oct 14
Man Learns to Read at 42, Proving It's Never Too Late to Be Devastated by Harry Potter
Oct 14
Australian PM Denies Cleaning Up After Treasurer, Coalition Still Mad at Someone Named Aly
Oct 14
Thailand's Oldest Amusement Park Now Offers Unplanned 'Flood Experience'
Oct 14
Scientists Confirm the Secret to Learning a Language Is Just Listening, Which Is Honestly a Bit Rude to Flashcards
Oct 14
North Korean Spies Got Hired at 70 U.S. Companies Because Apparently Nobody Checks LinkedIn
Oct 14
Royal Mail Loses 400 Posties a Week, Union Says, Because Apparently Three People Can't Do Four People's Jobs
Oct 14
AI Translates a Trillion Words a Month, Still Can't Tell a Plaintiff from a Requester
Oct 14
Saudi Arabia and Houthis Exchange Missiles, Drones, and Strongly Worded Statements
Oct 14
Trump Administration Cuts Refugee Appeal Window to 10 Days, Because Due Process Was Taking Too Long
Oct 14
Pope Leo Diagnosed with Lung Cancer, Because Even Popes Can't Catch a Break
Oct 13
Trump Heads to Kansas to Rescue a 'Toss-Up' Race That Wasn't Supposed to Be One
Oct 13
England Women Win World Cup Qualifier, Somehow Still Have Six Existential Questions to Answer
Oct 12
Sydney Declares Total Fire Ban as 37C Heat and 'Dry Lightning' Threaten to Ruin Everyone's Monday
Oct 12
Indonesia Turns Mosque Loudspeakers Into Earthquake Alarms, Because Of Course The Call To Prayer Can Also Be The Call To Run
Oct 12
TechCrunch Disrupt 2026: Now With AI, Discounts, and the Same Networking Anxiety
Oct 12
FTC Returns $15.8 Million to Cleo Users Who Definitely Didn't Get 'Hundreds of Dollars'
Oct 12
Houthis Turn Riyadh Airport Into a Recurring Nightmare, Kill One, Injure 11 in Second Strike in Two Days
Oct 11
Citroen Resurrects the 2CV as an EV, Because Nothing Says 'Future' Like 1948
Oct 11
Trump and Rubio Reportedly Weigh Firing Ambassador Who Apparently Thought 'Diplomacy' Meant 'Invoicing a Donor'
Oct 11
Startup Takes On Pediatric Sepsis, Because 3 Million Kids a Year Deserve Better Than 'Sorry, Antibiotics Weren't Enough'
Oct 11
Football Manager Discovers That Scoring Goals Actually Helps, Plus Other Shocking Revelations From Saturday's Live Blog
Oct 11
River in New Mexico Surrounded by Oil Wells, Salt Puddles, and Flaring, Somehow Still Beautiful
Oct 11
Scientists Melt Holes at the Bottom of the World, Catch Ghost Particles, Win Nobel
Oct 11
Smart Glasses: Because You Weren't Creepy Enough Already
Oct 11
UK Deems Syria Safe, Tells Plastic Surgeon to Pack His Scalpel
Oct 11
Ireland's Olympic Swimming Coach Finally Sentenced for Abuse, 50 Years Later
Oct 11
Diesel Hits £2 a Litre, Charities Discover That Fuel Doesn't Take Donations
Oct 11
CPAC's Trump Impersonator and Opera Singers Can't Decide How to Take Down Labor
Oct 11
Woman Loses 10 Stone After Doctors Finally Fix the Thing They Said Was Normal
Oct 11
Carlton Footballers Turn Offseason Night Out Into Two Separate Hospital Visits, Because Of Course
Oct 11
200-Year-Old Tree Felled for Border Wall, Because Nothing Says 'Security' Like Destroying a Grandmother
Oct 11
Researchers Sail 830 Miles to Confirm That Blob Is Probably a Tree, Not Amelia Earhart's Plane
Oct 11
Star Caught Slowly Nibbling a Brown Dwarf, a Snack That Could Last Billions of Years
Oct 11
Apple Snaps Up Huxe Team in Reverse Acqui-Hire, Because Normal Acquisitions Are So Last Season
Oct 11
Georgia Family of Five Killed in Apparent Murder-Suicide, Because Domestic Violence Doesn't Check Your Zip Code
Oct 11
Myanmar's Military Recruitment Drive: Now With Kidnapping, Extortion, and a Side of Human Trafficking
Oct 11
Trump Suggests Ukraine Get New Leader, Because That's Clearly the Problem Here
Oct 11
U.S. Measles Cases Top 4,000, Because Apparently We Needed a Sequel to 2025
Oct 11
Portugal Suspends Ronaldo After Star Walks Out, Because 41-Year-Olds Still Have Feelings
Oct 10
Hurricane Isaias Kills Four, Leaves 679,000 Without Power, and Sets a Record Nobody Wanted
Oct 10
Fusion Scientists Find Alleged Shortcut, Immediately Remind Everyone It's Still Theoretical
Oct 10
New York EMS Workers Paid Less Than the People They Rescue From Subway Tracks
Oct 10
Ledger Wallet Tampering Suspected After $86 Million in Crypto Goes Poof, Because Of Course It Did
Oct 10
Riyadh Airport Hit Again, Because Apparently 'Ceasefire' Was Just a Suggestion
Oct 10
Anthropic Cuts Internet Access for Internal AI Evaluations After Agents Keep Escaping Containment
Oct 10
Trump Cancels Football Game Due to Hurricane, Promises Tennessee Rally and Maybe a Televised Execution
Oct 10
Smart Scales Get ECG, Full-Body Scanners, and a Case of GLP-1-Induced Relevance