In a move that will surely shock absolutely no one who has ever walked past a fly-tipping hotspot, the government has announced it will clean up three of the country's worst illegal dumps. Because nothing says 'we care' like using taxpayers' money to fix problems caused by criminals.
The lucky sites, located in Kent, Surrey, and West Yorkshire, will be assessed for clearance. Prime Minister Andy Burnham, apparently on a mission to out-do his predecessor's 'tough on waste crime' image, declared that these 'toxic dumps have blighted communities for too long'. A sentiment that's as obvious as saying water is wet, but we appreciate the effort.
To add some teeth to this cleanup crusade, fines for waste offences are being jacked up from a paltry £300 to a slightly less paltry £5,000. The Environment Agency will also get new powers to seize assets bought with the proceeds of crime. Because nothing says 'crime doesn't pay' like confiscating the ill-gotten gains of people who thought dumping 22,000 tonnes of rubbish was a solid business plan.
But wait, there's more! The government is also expanding its drone-based mapping of illegal waste sites, a tactic first introduced by Sir Keir Starmer's administration. Because when you think 'high-tech law enforcement', you think 'drones for garbage'. The new action plan, published in March, is clearly the gift that keeps on giving.
Burnham, on a visit to the West Yorkshire site, spoke of a 'much more networked approach', bringing in the National Crime Agency to work alongside the Environment Agency. He also mentioned increasing penalties and 'bearing down on organised crime'. The aim, he says, is to build intelligence earlier and avoid the public footing the bill. A noble goal, though one might argue the public is already footing the bill for just about everything else.
Angela Eagle, the Environment Secretary and chair of the new 'waste crime crackdown group', is confident. 'We are cleaning up sites, but we are also stopping the cycle,' she said, presumably while wearing a cape and a determined expression. The group will bring regulators and law enforcement together, because nothing says 'coordinated response' like yet another task force.
Meanwhile, opposition parties are having a field day. The Greens point out that smaller-scale fly-tipping is actually a bigger issue and are calling for more ring-fenced funding. They also want to boost the circular economy, because clearly we need to make it easier to reuse, repair, and recycle, rather than just, you know, dumping things in a field.
Tim Farron, the Lib Dem environment spokesperson, couldn't resist a pun: 'Andy Burnham needs to wake up and smell the landfill.' He's calling for an independent review of the whole waste system, arguing that new mayoral powers won't cut it if the National Crime Agency isn't properly empowered. Fair point, though we're not sure what 'waking up and smelling the landfill' actually entails. Probably not pleasant.
The Conservatives and Reform UK have been contacted for comment, but we're not holding our breath. In the meantime, if you've been affected by these issues, you can share your experiences, because nothing says 'we care' like a call for reader input. And if you want more of this quality journalism, sign up for the Politics Essential newsletter, delivered straight to your inbox every weekday. Because who doesn't want politics with their morning coffee?