The Clacton constituency by-election, prompted by Nigel Farage's resignation on 7 July amid financial scrutiny and a parliamentary investigation, has drawn a record-breaking 34 candidates. Among them are 20 independents and a gaggle of joke candidates, including three from the Monster Raving Loony party. Notably absent: any candidates from the main Westminster parties, who collectively decided this particular circus wasn't worth joining.

Voters head to the polls on 13 August, facing a ballot paper that's longer than most shopping lists. The previous record of 26 candidates, set at the Haltemprice and Howden by-election in July 2008, has been soundly beaten. That contest, triggered by Tory Sir David Davis and similarly ignored by major parties, now looks almost restrained by comparison.

Farage is the sole Westminster party candidate, after Labour, the Conservatives, Liberal Democrats, and Greens all gave the Essex seat a hard pass. His most prominent opponents include the always-entertaining Count Binface and actor-turned-politician Laurence Fox. Also in the running: Nick The Incredible Flying Brick, Howling Laud Hope, and Baron Von Thunderclap, all representing the Monster Raving Loony Party. Because why not?

The full list of candidates, published on Tendring District Council's website and posted outside Clacton Town Hall, reads like a fever dream. Other contenders include William Stuart James Clouston (Social Democratic Party), Martin Davies (Freedom Alliance), Ketankumar Pipaliya (UK VOICE), and James Ransley (Consensus Party Candidate). It's a veritable buffet of political obscurity.

When your by-election has more candidates than a season of The Apprentice, you know democracy is having a laugh.