In a stunning display of bipartisan agreement that would make a Venn diagram blush, the Supreme Court has ruled 9-0 that a Texas marijuana user can legally own a firearm, because apparently the Second Amendment and the Controlled Substances Act are now in a messy, codependent relationship.
The case involved Ali Danial Hemani, a Texas resident who was charged with felony gun possession after admitting he's a regular marijuana user. Notably, Hemani wasn't accused of any other crimes or using the weapon while under the influence - he just wanted to exercise his constitutional right to bear arms while also exercising his constitutional right to chill out.
The 1968 Gun Control Act, which prohibits firearm possession for anyone who "is an unlawful user of or addicted to any controlled substance," took a hit. This same restriction led to the 2024 conviction of Hunter Biden, who later received a pardon from then-President Joe Biden after prosecutors accused him of lying about his narcotics use when purchasing a Colt Cobra handgun in 2018.
Hemani argued that the federal law violates the Second Amendment, and the Supreme Court agreed. The decision is a loss for the Trump administration, which defended the 1968 law despite arguing against other gun restrictions - a position that requires the kind of mental gymnastics usually reserved for Olympic athletes.
Meanwhile, in other news that feels like it's from a completely different planet, JD Vance is set to hold a White House press briefing where he'll likely face questions about the Iran deal Trump signed at Versailles - a 14-point agreement that has some Republicans wondering if they accidentally stumbled into an alternate timeline.
The deal, which Trump claims as a "major win," includes significant concessions to Iran, including sanctions relief, the release of frozen funds, and a $300 billion reconstruction fund. Critics, including Democratic Senator Adam Schiff, called it "hard to imagine a more thorough capitulation," while outgoing Louisiana Senator Bill Cassidy suggested Ronald Reagan is "rolling over in his grave."
Iran's chief negotiator, Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf, was characteristically humble, calling the agreement "a record of US failure." Hezbollah chief Naim Qassem, meanwhile, hailed it as a "great victory," which is never a good sign for US foreign policy.
But hey, at least the Strait of Hormuz will reopen, restoring the status quo before the war that killed 13 American service members and cost families billions at the pump. So, silver linings?
In other Supreme Court news, the justices are also set to rule on Trump's attempts to limit birthright citizenship and remove legal protections for Haitian and Syrian immigrants. Because apparently, the court isn't done making headlines this term.