TechCrunch
Anthropic's Revenue Does the Math Olympiad: From $9B to $65B Faster Than You Can Say 'Scaling Laws'
Anthropic's revenue run rate hits $65B, up from $9B last year, and they're eyeing a $2 trillion IPO - because why not?
2026-08-18
TechCrunch
2026-08-12
BBC World
Cristiano Ronaldo Finally Makes It Official: Marries Partner of 10 Years in Quiet Portuguese Ceremony
Ronaldo finally makes an honest woman of Georgina Rodríguez after 10 years, proving even GOATs can commit - or at least sign a long-term contract.
2026-08-11
TechCrunch
Phoebe Gates and Sophia Kianni Reportedly Knew About Their Startup's Cookie Stuffing for Months, Because of Course They Did
Gates and Kianni allegedly knew about Phia's cookie stuffing for months, but sure, it was just a bug. A bug they turned on and off like a light switch.
2026-08-07
The Verge
Jony Ive's First OpenAI Gadget Is a Hockey Puck That Talks Back, Because Why Not
OpenAI and Jony Ive are building a hockey puck-sized speaker that moves, sees, and chats, priced at $300+, launching in 2027. It's basically a smart speaker with a trust fund.
2026-07-24
TechCrunch
Midjourney Acquires Astrology App Co-Star, Because Why Not Throw Horoscopes Into the AI Mix?
Midjourney buys astrology app Co-Star, adding horoscopes to its AI image generator and spa ambitions. Because why not?
2026-07-11
TechCrunch
Bill Gates' Daughter's Startup Accused of 'Cookie Stuffing' - The Oldest Trick in the Affiliate Marketing Book
Phoebe Gates' shopping startup Phia was caught taking credit for sales it didn't earn - a practice known as 'cookie stuffing' that got it suspended from a major affiliate platform.
2026-07-01
The Verge
Apple Plans to Redesign Entry-Level MacBook Pro, Possibly by 2027, While iPad Pros Get… Internal Improvements
Apple plans a redesigned entry-level MacBook Pro for 2027 and new iPad Pros for spring, because planning years ahead is totally normal.
2026-06-06
TechCrunch
Apple’s WWDC 2026: Siri Finally Gets a Personality Transplant, Courtesy of Google
Apple finally gives Siri a brain transplant using Google parts, adds AI to everything including your camera and your wallet, and introduces emoji generation because 3,000 wasn't enough.
2026-05-07
TechCrunch
Disney Wants to Build a 'Super App' That Is Definitely Not Just 'We Have an Everything App at Home'
Disney is reportedly planning to merge its various apps into a single 'super app,' because apparently having separate apps for streaming, theme parks, and cruise lines was too much like actual organization.
2026-04-24
The Verge
Anthropic's Super-Secure AI Model Gets Hacked Via Guessing Game
Anthropic's 'too dangerous to release' AI model was accessed by unauthorized users via an educated guess and insider info, proving that hubris is still the easiest vulnerability to exploit.
2026-04-23
The Verge
Meta to Cut 10 Percent of Staff, Because Nothing Says 'Efficiency' Like Firing People to Fund AI Godzilla
Meta announces 8,000 layoffs and 6,000 open role closures to fund AI ambitions, leaving a month of ambiguity for staff who made 'meaningful contributions.'
The Good Times
News in your inbox.
One sardonic roundup, delivered on your schedule. Free. Unsubscribe whenever your tolerance for wit runs out.
Already subscribed but we never reach your inbox? Check your spam folder and hit 'Not spam' (or 'Remove from spam') to bust us out of junk-mail purgatory. You'll be helping everyone else too.