In a World Cup warm-up match that had everything except a coherent defensive strategy, Scotland defeated Curaçao 4-0 at Hampden Park, with a performance that can best be described as "promising, if you squint."
The match began with a farcical half-time moment that would make Charlie Chaplin proud: Curaçao goalkeeper Room, busy ranting at the referee, was accidentally showered by a pitchside sprinkler. A comedy basic that never fails to tickle, and a fitting metaphor for the visitors' afternoon.
Scotland's defense, as one observer noted, 'isn't quite up to Arsenal standards.' They will concede chances this summer, let's make peace with it. But the attack? Well, that was a different story. Findlay Curtis announced himself with a cute finish just two minutes after coming on - not much power, but that wasn't the point. It was all about precision, a neat first touch, and taking the shot early.
Lawrence Shankland bagged a brace, including a lovely, crisp finish from ten yards out, while Ryan Christie added a penalty after Curaçao's Locadia was sent off for an elbow that was less 'football' and more 'unsolicited dental examination.' VAR got involved, the referee had no option, and Locadia was fuming. What a daft thing to do.
The second half saw Scotland rampant, with Christie whipping a penalty down the middle - a little bit to the right, in fact - with Room going the wrong way. It was four. Substitute goalkeeper Kelly, who came on for the final 12 minutes, immediately made two eye-catching saves, working at a ratio of one spectacular save per minute. Compare and contrast to his predecessor Gordon, who didn't really have that much to do and wasn't at fault for the goal.
As the match wound down, Simon McMahon got '1982 vibes' - 5-2 v Haiti, a setback against Morocco, 2-2 v Brazil - but wondered if this time it's enough to qualify for the knockouts. Then we can all dream. Or at least, dream of a defense that doesn't give us nightmares.