France has reported 2,025 excess deaths during the last week of June's record-breaking heatwave, because apparently the universe decided to test Europe's air conditioning infrastructure all at once. The death rate jumped 29% compared to the previous week, with French Health Minister Stéphanie Rist noting a 'clear increase' among those over 45 - presumably because the under-45s were too busy posting sweaty selfies to notice the heat.

France experienced its hottest day ever on June 24, with Paris hitting nearly 41°C and half the country placed under a red heat alert. But don't unpack your winter coats just yet: parts of Europe, including the UK, are bracing for more scorching temperatures starting this weekend. The UK is expecting a third heatwave with 30°C forecasts, because apparently two wasn't enough to convince Brits that sunburn is a real threat.

Climate change is the usual suspect, driving up temperatures globally but especially in Europe, which warms twice as fast as the global average, according to the Copernicus climate service. This means more summer heatwaves, more pressure on water supplies, and more wildfires - essentially a preview of what happens when the planet decides to run a fever.

Belgium recorded 1,222 excess deaths during the heatwave - 39% more than usual - with nearly half being people aged 85 and over. The Dutch weren't spared either: about 480 excess deaths, most aged 80 and older. In France, the official death toll might be an 'underestimate,' as the health ministry noted, which is a polite way of saying 'things are worse than they look.'

Meanwhile, drowning deaths spiked, with 72 people drowning since June 18 in France alone. So apparently people thought the best way to beat the heat was to jump into water without knowing how to swim. French Interior Minister Laurent Nuñez confirmed this, likely while facepalming.

As if that weren't enough, nearly 7,000 fires have broken out in France since summer began, burning about 8,700 hectares. Nearly 3,000 people were evacuated after a wildfire near Sainte-Marie-la-Mer spread to Canet-en-Roussillon. Portugal declared a state of alert until Tuesday, with temperatures forecast to exceed 40°C. Spain's southwest is on orange alert, expecting 40°C as well. So, in summary: Europe is on fire, people are dropping like flies, and the only thing rising faster than the mercury is the body count. Stay hydrated, folks.