Democrats, bless their hearts, have found yet another way to tie themselves in knots. This time, it's over Graham Platner, the Maine Senate candidate who - as first-time candidates go - has the kind of baggage that would make a bellhop weep.

Let's recap: Platner is an oysterman by trade, won the Democratic primary with 72% of the vote after Schumer's preferred candidate, Governor Janet Mills, wisely exited stage left. Then the skeletons came tumbling out: a Nazi tattoo from his Marine days (since covered), sexist and racist Reddit posts, ex-girlfriends telling the New York Times he mistreated them, and a sexting habit his wife wasn't thrilled about.

Now, Democrats in Maine seem fine with this - they gave him 72% of the primary vote. But national Democrats are apoplectic, wringing their hands and demanding Platner drop out so they can find a more pristine candidate. Because, as we all know, the party that's currently running against a 34-count convicted felon who has also been found liable for sexual abuse really has the high ground on character.

Yes, Republicans are hilariously outraged about Platner's past. Let's just set aside Ken Paxton - impeached, indicted, divorced - who they just nominated for Senate. And that other guy, the one with 24+ sexual misconduct allegations, a rape finding, 34 felonies, and multiple indictments? They're about to nominate him for president for the third time. But sure, tell us more about how Platner's tattoo is a bridge too far.

For Democrats, the math is simple: Platner is flawed, but he's their flawed guy. He's apologized, his wife stands by him, and he's running against Susan Collins, who voted with Trump 95% of the time in 2025. The choice is between a repentant oysterman with a checkered past and a Republican who enables the guy with the nuclear codes and a penchant for fraud.

It's time for Democrats to ditch their pre-2016 squeamishness. Voters want a fighter, not a saint. Establishment picks are losing. Ask AOC, Zohran Mamdani, and the three progressive New Yorkers who just won primaries. The republic needs saving, and that means winning Maine. So, Democrats: stop your hand-wringing, get Platner some resources, and focus on the real enemy. The oysterman is your guy.