Geoscience Australia has confirmed that two small earthquakes rattled New South Wales this morning, because apparently the country decided it needed a little geological excitement before breakfast.
A 3.4 magnitude quake struck near Orange at around 5.45am, with at least 108 people reporting they felt the shakes - presumably while wondering if they should wake up or just roll over and wait for aftershocks. A second, slightly less popular 3.2 magnitude temblor hit near Wilcannia two hours earlier, managing to impress exactly two people.
Meanwhile, in a separate display of doing things the hard way, an unnamed politician declared that taking the easier political path is for quitters. "If we’re given the choice between taking the easier path politically or doing the more difficult thing, but the right thing in the interests of particularly first home buyers, young people, workers in the tax system, then it will be worth it," they said, presumably while also fixing the housing market with one hand and the tax system with the other.
They acknowledged the inevitable partisan backlash, adding, "Obviously, there’s a big partisan political campaign against these changes. We understand that. We anticipated that. We expected that. But it’s worth it because our job isn’t just to take the easy political options." Because nothing says "we're serious about reform" like a lengthy preemptive defense against criticism that hasn't even fully materialized yet.
"The more important thing than the politics of this is to get the policy right, to get the substance right. Because at the end of the day, what matters most is the tax system and the housing market are broken. We are acting to fix it," they concluded, leaving everyone to wonder whether the earthquakes were a metaphor or just a very inconvenient morning.