The Hill
Seven Senate Republicans to Trump: Maybe Don't Roll Out the Red Carpet for Putin
Seven Republican senators politely ask Trump to maybe not give Putin a G20 stage in Miami, citing the whole 'war in Ukraine' thing.
The Hill
The Verge
Roku's First OLED TVs Are Already on Sale, Because Launch Prices Are Apparently Suggestions
Roku's first OLED TVs get immediate discounts, because nothing says 'premium launch' like a coupon code at checkout.
BBC World
Ethiopia's Tigray Region Gets Internet Blackout, Because Nothing Says 'We're Back' Like a Communications Meltdown
Tigray's internet goes dark as fighting erupts, because nothing says 'welcome back to war' like a total communications blackout and a cash shortage.
The Hill
Scientists Find Naturally Occurring Peptide That Fights Alzheimer's, Because the Body Apparently Had a Solution Stashed Away All Along
A naturally occurring peptide called CST reduced tau and amyloid buildup, brain inflammation and cognitive decline in mice - because the human body apparently had a backup plan all along.
The Guardian
Seven-Metre Kayak Embarks on 22,000km Antarctic Odyssey to Save Planet, Probably Won't Send Postcards
A seven-metre orange kayak-robot is sailing 22,000km around Antarctica to measure ocean carbon, because apparently we've run out of humans willing to endure that kind of cold.
ScienceDaily
CERN Begins Dismantling the Large Hadron Collider, Because Apparently 27 Kilometers of Magnets Weren't Enough
CERN has started tearing apart the Large Hadron Collider to install magnets 40% stronger, because 20 years of smashing particles apparently wasn't quite enough.
The Guardian Europe
Tuchel Says Cole Palmer Misses Too Many England Camps, Which Is a Very Diplomatic Way of Saying 'Show Up or Shut Up'
Tuchel delivers a masterclass in passive-aggressive squad management, Kane opens up about World Cup heartbreak, and Beckham quietly earns $51m while everyone else talks about football.
ZDNet
Microsoft Unifies Copilot Into One App, Then Casually Mentions the Price Is 'Evolving'
Microsoft merges its scattered Copilot apps into one unified product, then utters the phrase 'evolving pricing' and hopes nobody in finance faints.
ScienceDaily
Dead Star Produces Shock Wave That Shouldn't Exist, Scientists Admit They Have No Idea
A dead star 730 light-years away is producing a shock wave that current physics says it can't, and scientists are calling it a 'mystery engine.'
BBC World
Trump and Xi Hold Glittering Dinner, Solve Absolutely Nothing (But the Sea Bass Was Nice)
Trump and Xi exchanged warm words and a bald eagle sculpture at a lavish White House dinner, leaving Taiwan, trade and AI exactly where they were - but the sea bass was excellent.
Wired
Wired's 34 Best Gifts for Dads Proves Even Dads Don't Know What Dads Want
WIRED's gift guide for dads confirms that even dads don't know what to get dads, and suggests a power bank, an AirTag, a $400 backpack, and a suitcase that costs more than your first car.
Grist
Boomer Mom's Cheap Amazon Hauls Are Actually a Climate Survival Strategy, Apparently
A millennial is mortified by Mom's cheap Amazon and Wayfair hauls - but 18 percent mortgage rates and Depression-era parents explain the bargain-hunting, and it might just be a climate bridge worth building.
The Guardian
Pope Leo Lands in France to Fix Church's Image, Warn Everyone About AI
Pope Leo touches down in Paris for the first papal visit to France in 18 years, ready to tackle abuse scandals, AI, and Europe's future - while Macron stays home from mass.
BBC Health
Gen Z Ditches Treadmill for Deadlifts, Because Apparently Weights Are Cheaper Than Therapy
Gen Z swaps treadmills for deadlifts, because lifting heavy things is cheaper than therapy and apparently more sociable than the pub.
The Guardian
Grassroots Film Turns Climate Doom Into Group Therapy, Somehow Still Hopeful
A grassroots film says sharing climate dread together beats doomscrolling alone - a bold pitch in a week that also brought 450,000 predicted El Niño deaths and a suppressed security report.
Pitchfork
Taylor Swift Releases Four New Songs, Because Three Would Have Been Rude
Taylor Swift drops four new songs on The Life of a Showgirl: The Encore, teases a Colin Farrell and Dakota Johnson video, and will accept an MTV VMA award that definitely exists now.
ScienceDaily
Scientists Give Worms Magnetic Bacteria, Worms Immediately Outlive Us All by 43%
Magnetic bacteria gave worms a 43% lifespan boost by blocking ferroptosis, because apparently even microorganisms are better at self-care than we are.
TechCrunch
Startup Builds Robot to Do the One Job Pipefitters Hate Most: Bolts
Nexterity's remote-controlled robot tightens four bolts at a time on pipes, because pipefitters are tired and the torque dorks have spoken.
Ars Technica
Disney's Ludwig Von Drake Was Apparently a Rocket Scientist in Duck Form
Disney's first TV character, Ludwig Von Drake, was modeled on Nazi-turned-NASA rocket scientist Wernher von Braun - because nothing says family entertainment like a duck with a questionable résumé.
BBC Politics
Isle of Man Election: Voters Fire Three Ministers, Because Nothing Says 'Change' Like a Bloodbath at the Polls
Isle of Man voters oust three ministers in a 2026 election that saw 82 candidates fight for 24 seats, because nothing says 'democracy' like a good old-fashioned purge.
The Good Times
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