The Guardian
Green Leader Faces Green Rival Who Thinks He's Just a Leaflet Politician
Green leader Zack Polanski faces a local rival who says the seat needs a real presence, not just a leaflet - and he won't even move there.
2026-09-07
The Guardian
2026-09-02
The Guardian
Green Party Members Give Zack Polanski the Nod for a Seat Labour Considers Its Own
Green Party members have thrown their weight behind Zack Polanski for a byelection in a Labour stronghold, because who doesn't love a good political gamble?
2026-08-28
BBC Politics
Greens Call for Data Centre Moratorium: Because AI Shouldn't Need a Swimming Pool's Worth of Water
The Green Party wants to pause data centre construction because our water is more important than AI's thirst. Government says that's a disaster. Meanwhile, servers are parched.
2026-08-20
BBC Politics
Politicians' Social Media Gamble: From #Milifandom to Prime Ministerial Pub Snack Rankings
From #Milifandom to pub snack memes, UK politicians are desperately trying to be 'relatable' online, but does any of it actually win votes? Spoiler: maybe not.
2026-08-10
The Guardian
England Braces for Fifth Heatwave, More Drought Declarations Expected Because of Course
UK declares fifth heatwave and more drought, because climate change is a real drag. Water crisis worsens, but hey, at least it's not raining.
2026-08-05
BBC Politics
Green Leader Accuses Labour of 'Dereliction of Duty' Over Heatwaves, Suggests More Cool Spaces
Green Party leader says Labour's heatwave response is a 'dereliction of duty,' proposes cool spaces and renationalising water, while Labour points out the Greens keep blocking the very projects they demand.
2026-07-29
The Guardian Europe
Green Leader's Social Media Habits Have Party Wondering If He Should Hand Over the Keys
Green Party leader Zack Polanski's social media mishap has sparked internal calls for him to hand over the keys, as the party debates whether being 'terminally online' is a feature or a bug.
2026-07-10
BBC Politics
Labour Under Burnham Promises to Be 'Faster and Bolder,' Which Sounds Great Until You Realize That's What They Said Last Time
Andy Burnham's Labour promises speed and emotional openness; opposition parties want actual policies, not just a relocated postcode.
2026-05-24
The Guardian
Green Party Leader's Houseboat Tax Troubles Float Toward Official Investigation
London officials consider probing Green Party leader Zack Polanski over allegedly unpaid council tax on his houseboat, because nothing says "green living" like a potential tax evasion scandal.
2026-05-15
The Guardian Europe
Starmer, Burnham, Farage, Polanski: This Week in Politics Felt Like a Guided Tour of Hell's Souvenir Shop
A weary public faces a soul-battle between Starmer, Farage, Polanski, and Badenoch - Dante would charge extra for this tour.
2026-05-12
BBC Politics
Green Party Leader Discovers Floating Homes Also Require Filling Out Forms
Green Party leader Zack Polanski may have forgotten that even houseboats require council tax, prompting a flurry of apologies and creative explanations from his party.
2026-05-09
BBC Politics
Green Party Engages in Hostile Takeover of Labour's South London Real Estate
The Green Party turns London's Labour strongholds into a veritable garden party, winning councils and mayors while declaring two-party politics dead and buried.
2026-05-06
The Guardian
Green Party Leader Admits He Wasn't Actually a Red Cross Spokesperson, Blames Media Scrutiny on Fear of Wealth Taxes
Green Party leader Zack Polanski admits he was wrong to call himself a Red Cross spokesperson, but blames media scrutiny on the establishment's fear of wealth taxes and rising Green popularity.
2026-05-03
The Guardian
Green Candidate Arrested for Alleged Antisemitism Spotted Campaigning - Because Rules Are More Like Suggestions
Green candidate arrested for alleged antisemitism goes canvassing like nothing happened, because party discipline is apparently optional.
2026-04-30
BBC Politics
Met Police Chief Blasts 'Armchair Critics' Over Takedown of Knife-Wielding Suspect, Asks Everyone to Calm Down
Met Police chief tells Green Party leader to stop second-guessing officers who Tasered and kicked a knife-wielding suspect, because stopping a stabbing spree is apparently 'messy'.
The Good Times
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