A baby boomer and grandmother, who is clearly tired of being blamed for everything, has decided to tackle the climate crisis one spatula at a time. Former professional cook and current eco-grandmother shares her wisdom on how to make the kitchen slightly less apocalyptic, starting with a sustainability audit that involves staring at your gadget drawer and admitting you'll never use that avocado slicer.

The kitchen library movement has arrived to save us from ourselves, offering breadmakers, ice-cream churners, and sous vide cookers on loan so you can pretend to be a gourmet chef without the commitment. In Melbourne, Elwood's Kitchen Library even has zero-waste children's party packs with themes ranging from dinosaurs to hungry caterpillars, because nothing says "saving the planet" like a caterpillar-themed birthday.

When it comes to actual cookware, the advice is simple: avoid anything with "forever chemicals" (PFAS), because they stick around longer than your in-laws. Alternatives include stainless steel, cast iron, copper, recycled aluminium, and silicone - which is not biodegradable but at least won't give you BPA poisoning. For the truly committed, there are solid timber spoons hewn from single pieces of timber, oiled and preserved like a museum artifact, and woodchip boards that come with five-year, 10-year, or lifetime warranties - because nothing says "sustainable" like a warranty that outlives your children.

The piece concludes with a touching admission that constant bombardment by catastrophic predictions leaves us feeling powerless, but hey, one small change - like replacing your plastic chopping board - is better than nothing. And if that change is triggered by a news grab or a new grandchild, so be it.