As the Northern Hemisphere bakes under heat domes that make a pizza oven look mild, oil companies are doubling down on the very thing causing the problem. Because why stop pumping when you can profit from the apocalypse?

The science is clear: burning more fossil fuels makes the planet hotter. A new attribution study found that Europe's latest record-smashing heatwave was impossible without human-caused climate change. Yet Big Oil is planning to increase production by 14% between 2024 and 2030, according to the London School of Economics. That's even worse than the International Energy Agency's business-as-usual scenario, which would lead to a catastrophic 2.9°C temperature rise.

BP is a textbook case. After promising to cut oil production by 40% and invest in renewables, the company backtracked, slashed green spending by $3 billion, and boosted oil and gas spending to $10 billion a year. Profits more than doubled last quarter. Meanwhile, European oil majors saw combined profits hit $22 billion - the highest since 2022. In the US, ExxonMobil plans a 25% production increase, Chevron 15%, and they don't even pretend to care about climate pledges.

With a new El Niño looming, the Amazon braces for more fire and drought, polar ice melts faster, and Earth's life-support systems approach dangerous tipping points. But hey, shareholder value! The only question is: how many more heatwaves before we realize that pouring gasoline on a fire doesn't put it out?