Tropical Storm Edouard is making its way to the US Gulf coast, bringing with it the kind of weather that makes you wonder why anyone lives there. The storm, upgraded from a tropical depression on Monday night, is expected to gain strength before dumping potentially heavy rains and flooding on parts of Texas and Louisiana.

Forecasters at the National Hurricane Center (NHC) anticipate landfall in Texas later on Tuesday. Early Tuesday, the storm was about 65 miles (100km) south-south-east of Cameron, Louisiana, and 90 miles south-east of Port Arthur, Texas, with maximum sustained winds of 40mph (65km/h) and moving west-north-west at a leisurely 8mph.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott, ever the optimist, noted the biggest problem expected from the storm is flooding. The greater Houston area could see 3-6 inches (7-15cm) of rain, with some parts of the upper coast getting up to 9 inches. The NHC warns that over 4 inches per hour could fall, causing flash flooding in low-lying and urban areas. Because nothing says 'fun Tuesday' like a sudden indoor swimming pool.

"This is our first big storm of the season, and I'll tell you, Texas is prepared," said Orlando Alanis of the Texas Division of Emergency Management during a news conference. Because nothing says 'prepared' like a state that regularly loses power during a stiff breeze. Crews worked Monday to clear dry vegetation that could ignite from a lightning strike, because apparently, the storm wasn't enough excitement.

Meanwhile, the remnants of Tropical Storm Dolly brought rain and thunderstorms to parts of Haiti, the Dominican Republic, the Turks and Caicos, and the Bahamas. Because the Atlantic is just a sharing economy for bad weather.

In the Pacific, Tropical Storm Lowell was about 630 miles south-east of Hilo, Hawaii, with maximum sustained winds of 70mph, and could rapidly intensify into a major hurricane by Wednesday. Tropical Storm Marie formed off south-west Mexico, far from land, and is expected to become a hurricane. And Hurricane Karina, already a category 4 monster with 140mph winds, is churning 1,210 miles west-south-west of Baja California, threatening nothing but the ocean's reputation for being calm.

So, in summary: the Atlantic is wet, the Pacific is wet, and the Gulf is about to be wetter. Stay dry, folks.