The Guardian Europe
AI datacentres have eaten all the memory chips, so Apple is charging you £100 more for an iPhone and calling it a folding-phone launch. The era of cheap gadgets is over.
The Verge
Microsoft's biggest patch ever breaks stuff, so it issues an emergency patch. Again.
ZDNet
Microsoft's September security update silences old USB audio gear, but a simple stereo workaround might save your ears - and your outdated headset.
The Verge
Microsoft is simplifying its financial reports to two segments and will finally spill the beans on Azure's quarterly revenue, because AI made everything too complicated.
TechCrunch
Lambda borrows $1 billion to buy Nvidia chips to rent to Microsoft, continuing the AI industry's proud tradition of spending billions in borrowed money to build the future.
The Verge
Microsoft's Xbox prices are getting a hefty workout, with EU and UK buyers facing up to €200 or £170 more, because AI's chip cravings have to be paid for somehow.
TechCrunch
Microsoft’s Q4 earnings reveal Anthropic delivered a $3.2B gain while OpenAI took a $600M write-down - proving even AI investments have their favorites.
TechCrunch
Microsoft arms sales team with talking points to bash former BFFs OpenAI and Anthropic, because nothing says 'confidence in your own product' like a carefully crafted negative comparison.
The Verge
Microsoft finally remembers that users just want to find their files, not play a quiz or buy something.
The Guardian
Microsoft, Amazon, and Google's emissions hit 119m mTCO₂e - one-third of France's - as AI datacentre construction boom undoes years of climate progress.
The Verge
Microsoft is reportedly considering spinning off Xbox into its own company, because nothing says 'sustainable' like a radical existential crisis.
TechCrunch
Microsoft's GitHub Copilot price hike sparks the Tokenpocalypse, as AI labs face the grim reality of having to charge real money for things that were never free.
TechCrunch
LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman leaves Microsoft's board to focus on his drug discovery AI startup Manus, because curing cancer beats quarterly earnings calls.
TechCrunch
Microsoft's new Scout assistant, built on OpenClaw, promises adaptable AI with guardrails - because we all learned our lesson the first time.
The Guardian
New report says we need to vacuum CO2 from the air at a pace that would make solar panels blush, but so far we're mostly just planting trees and hoping for the best.
TechCrunch
Scammers have been using Microsoft's own internal email address to send spam for months, and the company hasn't stopped it yet - because why would they?
Grist
Chevron wants a $227 million tax break from Texas schools to build a gas plant for Microsoft's data center, because nothing says 'good neighbor' like asking for a handout while emitting more CO2 than Jamaica.
BBC Business
Elon Musk and Sam Altman's courtroom drama reveals free Teslas, sperm donations, and a whole lot of 'he said, he said' - because nothing says 'saving humanity' like a billion-dollar hissy fit.
BBC Business
Microsoft, Apple, and other tech giants are deploying cartoon mascots to make themselves seem friendlier, because nothing says 'trust us with your data' like a smiley blob.
ZDNet
Apple's $599 MacBook Neo is so good it's embarrassing Windows laptops, forcing LG and others to rethink their budget offerings - while Google eyes a ChromeOS comeback.
The Good Times
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