In a development that could only make sense in the year of our lord 2025, Michael Cohen - the man who once compared Donald Trump to a mobster and testified against him - has now hosted the president on his New York City radio show, complete with the 1970s R&B hit 'Reunited' playing in the background. Because why not? Cohen, who admitted to CNN he has formally requested a pardon for his 2018 crimes, showered Trump with praise, and Trump, ever the forgiving soul (when it suits him), said Cohen was 'weaponized' and respected his recantation. The two also found time to re-litigate the 2020 election, with Trump appearing to tacitly admit he lost - which, for him, is practically a confession.

The White House faced fresh questions about whether Trump's closest aide, Natalie Harp, had access to government secrets without security clearance. Meanwhile, Melania Trump opened a Rose Garden event with a joke about her lack of public appearances, as her husband looked on with all the attention of a man scrolling through Twitter.

In other news, the USS Doris Miller - named after a Black sailor who heroically fired at Japanese planes during Pearl Harbor - may be renamed the USS Donald Trump, because the navy is considering scrubbing Miller's name to appease the commander-in-chief. This comes a week after Trump ordered the ship's electromagnetic catapults replaced with steam-powered ones, because why modernize when you can regress?

A 21-year-old college grad was behind an anonymous website that spread fake election polling in Wisconsin, Nevada, and California. The site, Median Strategies, shut down after questions arose. And in California, progressive Aisha Wahab won a special election for Congress, surviving a barrage of Super PAC attack ads that spent nearly $6.4 million to support her opponent. Wahab called it 'election interference' - which seems about right.

Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass sparked outrage by comparing taco trucks to homeless encampments during a debate, suggesting street vendors should move into brick-and-mortar restaurants. Because nothing says 'LA' like hating on tacos. The remark drew comparisons to a 2016 Trump supporter's warning about 'taco trucks on every corner,' which at least shows consistency in bad takes.