In a move that will surprise absolutely no one familiar with zoning laws, the Malaysian government has reportedly ordered the shutdown of Balaji Srinivasan’s Network School, a self-styled “frontier community for techno-optimists.” According to The Wall Street Journal, the school was the brainchild of entrepreneur and investor Balaji Srinivasan, who is apparently so convinced the United States is in irreversible decline that his stated goal is “to start a new country.”

The Network School, housed in an abandoned Malaysian hotel, was meant to be the first step in a seven-stage plan (outlined in Srinivasan’s book “The Network State”) to build a brand-new society. The WSJ described it as “part tech incubator, part self-improvement retreat,” which sounds lovely until you hear about the moldy rooms and the notable lack of women and nightlife. Because nothing says “utopia” like a damp hotel with nowhere to get a decent cocktail.

After the WSJ started asking questions, Srinivasan - who apparently renounced his American citizenship in 2023 - took to X to declare himself “a proud Singaporean” and accuse the WSJ of preparing a “hit piece” that would paint him as “an odd duck” rather than “an early adopter.” Because when you’re building a new country, the first thing you need is a good PR spin.

Despite the Malaysian campus needing to shut down due to licensing issues (who knew you needed a license to build a nation?), Srinivasan isn’t giving up on his dream. He recently announced a new agreement for a campus in Kazakhstan, where we assume the mold is more to his liking.