Welcome to Saturday's Premier League build-up, where Liverpool have decided that £123m for Bradley Barcola is a reasonable way to start the season. The Paris Saint-Germain winger will undergo a medical this weekend before moving to Anfield, with £106m paid up front and £17m in add-ons based on individual and team achievements. Because nothing says 'financial prudence' like spending nine figures on a 23-year-old.

Meanwhile, Nottingham Forest are apparently in the market for Everton's Harrison Armstrong, having tabled a £40m bid for the 19-year-old midfielder. Everton are 'considering a sale' - which is corporate-speak for 'we need the money to satisfy squad cost ratios.' David Moyes, who has received little backing from owners The Friedkin Group, might be forgiven for feeling a bit miffed, especially after disputing chief executive Angus Kinnear's claim that the squad can challenge for Europe. Tensions? What tensions?

Nottingham Forest's new head coach Oliver Glasner, fresh off two defeats to Leeds (1-0 in the league, 2-0 in the Carabao Cup), has delivered a stirring pre-match address that basically translates to: 'Stop expecting miracles, I'm not a magician.' He's not wrong - the team had a relegation battle for nine months, their best midfielder Elliot Anderson left, and they've had four coaches in a chaotic season. But Glasner's plea to 'not ignore reality' is a bold strategy for a manager whose club just bid £40m for a teenager.

Andoni Iraola, Liverpool's head coach, has a different philosophy: he wants his forwards to exhaust themselves rather than perform for 90 minutes. It's all very heavy-metal, pressing high and not allowing opponents time to settle. He's also hoping Barcola and another winger will bolster his attacking options before Tuesday's deadline, because Victor Muñoz alone clearly isn't enough.

In other news, Milan have enquired about Nottingham Forest's Omari Hutchinson, who moved to the City Ground for a club-record £37.5m from Ipswich last summer but has struggled to hold down a place under four different coaches. Ruben Amorim, Milan's manager, has already signed Goncalo Ramos and Diego Moreira but wants more attacking flair. Hutchinson would be open to Italy, because who wouldn't want to escape a relegation battle?

Marli Salmon, Arsenal's 17-year-old, has signed his first professional contract after seven years at the club. 'It means a lot to me,' he said, proving that young footballers can be both talented and wholesome. Meanwhile, Lucy Bronze has revealed she doesn't listen to music or podcasts in the car - she just has 'a million thoughts going on' in her head, which is a very ADHD way of saying she's always thinking about football. Naomi Girma is baffled, but Bronze is fine with it.

There's also a new Central Cee song called 'The Team,' a corporate tie-in with Coca-Cola that somehow works because Central Cee is genuinely good. The press release probably involved someone typing 'cool urban street words' into an AI search box, but the song itself is tender and raw. And Cole Palmer is mentioned, because he's both the best English footballer and very easy to love.

So, as the Premier League kicks off another marathon weekend, remember: football is back, and so is the transfer window chaos, the managerial gripes, and the existential dread of squad cost ratios. Enjoy the matches.