In a stunning display of unintended consequences, Indonesia's flagship free school meals programme has managed to make around 2,000 students and teachers ill over the past three days. Yes, the scheme designed to improve nutrition is now providing an unexpected lesson in gastrointestinal distress.

The latest episode unfolded at a high school in Rembang, Central Java, where 777 people - 752 students and 25 teachers - found themselves intimately acquainted with the school's toilets after Wednesday's lunch. Headteacher Juhartutik noted, "There are 40 toilets in total, so they can't accommodate everyone." A logistical challenge, to be sure.

The meals are part of President Prabowo Subianto's multibillion-dollar Makan Bergizi Gratis (MBG) programme, which aims to feed the nation's schoolchildren. But the initiative has been dogged by corruption allegations, cost concerns, and now, a rather unfortunate reputation for food poisoning.

Earlier in the week, 730 people fell ill at an Islamic boarding school in Sidoarjo, East Java, with some students needing wheelchairs due to weakness. And hundreds more across schools in Tana Toraja, South Sulawesi, have reported similar symptoms. Parents and teachers have complained of slimy chicken, undercooked food, and a fishy odour - all classic signs of improper storage or preparation.

Local authorities are investigating, with food samples being tested. The Lasem distributor, Achmad Sholeh Syarifudin, has apologised and promised to cover medical costs, while the head of Indonesia's National Nutrition Agency ominously warned, "If it is identified that there was negligence and there are criminal elements, I apologise, we cannot help."

The school has sent nearly 1,200 pupils and 95 staff home, and the government has pledged to pay for any medical treatment. Because nothing says 'nutrition' like a side of salmonella with your rice.