In a development that will surprise absolutely no one who has ever watched football, Crystal Palace defeated Nottingham Forest 3-1 at Selhurst Park on Saturday, despite spending the opening 40 minutes looking like a team that had collectively forgotten which sport they were playing. Pierre Sage's side entered half-time 2-1 up, because sometimes the universe rewards you for taking your chances while your opponents busy themselves with an elaborate interpretive dance about missing theirs.
Forest, for their part, created enough opportunities to fill a moderately sized warehouse, then watched each one gently float away. Chris Wood was the latest guilty party. Morgan Gibbs-White hit the crossbar. Liam Delap could not beat Walter Benitez when he really should have. The visitors will not want to watch back today's collection of blown opportunities, unless they enjoy a particular flavour of self-flagellation.
Palace's first goal came from a passing move that ended with Daichi Kamada slotting in coolly, Strand Larsen's flick finding the Japan international before Quinten Timber provided the final assist. Oliver Glasner, presumably still processing his tough start at Forest, was aghast. VAR checked. It stood. Then Adam Wharton's corner came in and Lerma bundled home for 2-1, shortly after Matz Sels had made a brilliant save from Tyrick Mitchell. Another VAR check. Still a goal. Selhurst Park, previously a scene of quiet despair, was now rocking.
It became three when Palace were once again allowed to pass their way through, Sels saving from Strand Larsen only for Pino to convert the rebound. VAR had another look. It remained a goal. Forest's defenders may want to consider the radical strategy of preventing this sort of thing.
Glasner made a raft of substitutions, visibly annoyed on the sidelines. Dan Ndoye went off for Callum Hudson-Odoi. Chris Wood replaced Liam Delap, and Ibrahim Sangare replaced Xaver Schlager. Wood, the emergency option, had already failed to deliver against Coventry. History, as they say, does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme in disappointing ways.
Over at Hull, the Tigers continued to demonstrate that they are a tough away trip, thank you very much. Thierno Barry put Everton in the lead, only for Mohamed Belloumi to smash in an equaliser. Hull will go fourth if this form continues. No Premier League opposition has scored at Hull this season, which is the kind of statistic that makes you check whether you've accidentally wandered into a different sport.
Everton's day was complicated by a disallowed goal. The Premier League match centre explained: "After VAR review, the referee overturned the original decision of goal to Everton - with Johnson in an offside position and deemed to be challenging an opponent for the ball. REF: 'Everton No.22 is in an offside position and challenges Hull No.3. Final decision is offside.'" One Niall Fogarty wrote in to note that this was the second time in three games VAR had disallowed an EFC goal for incredibly petty reasons. Everton fans, understandably, are starting to take this personally.
Before that, there had been a delay for an officials' communication check, during which the referee had to call over the captains. The game eventually resumed, presumably after someone found the right cable.
Hull's opening goal came from a quick transition after Ainsley Maitland-Niles made a mistake, allowing Joe Gelhardt to steal on to Sorba Thomas's pass and finish perfectly. Maitland-Niles later made up for it by finding Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall for Everton's equaliser, which survived a VAR check because Dewsbury-Hall was onside. Redemption arcs are alive and well in the Championship.
Hull's substitutions saw Stroud, Mohamed Belloumi and Iroegbunam replace Gelhardt, Giles and Crooks. David Moyes responded by bringing on Tyrique George for Brennan Johnson, the thwarted goalscorer. Hayden Hackney, previously the best player in the Championship, came on for Maitland-Niles. Harrison Armstrong departed for Jake O'Brien. Charly Alcaraz and Tyler Dibling came on for Everton, while Sorba Thomas made way for Robinio Vaz.
Kari Tulinius wrote in to note that Thierno Barry looks on course for a twenty-goal season, having scored eight last season. "Barry wasn't Moyes's first, second or third choice, but it seems like it's working out for both of them," he observed. Barry is one of those strikers who will miss plenty but keep going so that he eventually knocks a few in. It's a philosophy.
Franklyn Hyde got in touch to note that Hull have a well-known biscuit manufacturer as a secondary shirt sponsor, which gave him a Proustian recollection of seeing Mike Dean as fourth official at White Hart Lane demolishing an entire packet of Chocolate Hob Nobs in the tunnel with his half-time cup of tea. Football, at its best, is about these small moments of humanity.
Leo Addor wrote in with news from Brazilian Serie A: Corinthians have announced Clarence Seedorf as their new manager. They fired Fernando Diniz midweek after a seventh consecutive loss brought them close to the relegation zone. Rumours in the Brazilian press suggested several managers had been approached and refused to consider the job, making it a running joke. One pundit said, "I'm afraid of answering my phone at home and ending up as Corinthians' manager." Seedorf did play in Brazil towards the end of his career, so it's not completely random, but it is very surprising.
Norrie wrote in to express frustration at the trend of pundits, players and managers dead-batting with "let's wait for the appeal" regarding Manchester City. "A three-year process concluded with an emphatic result of overwhelming guilt," he noted. "If any of these people have any reason as to why an appeal will overturn that - let alone for why City should be allowed to further delay - they should say so." A fair point, delivered with the kind of weary exasperation that only football can inspire.
The upshot of all this: Pierre Sage's huge win, Oliver Glasner's tough start continuing, Hull showing plenty of heart, and Everton paying for their mistakes. The Premier League, as ever, remains a place where logic goes to die and everyone has opinions about it.