In a development that will surprise absolutely no one who follows the concept of cause and effect, two men have been charged with attempted murder over an incident involving Urfan Sharif, the man currently serving a life sentence for the murder of his 10-year-old daughter, Sara. The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) announced charges against Steven Sansom, 47, and Adam Watson, 39, following an alleged incident at Belmarsh prison in London. The pair are scheduled to appear at Westminster Magistrates Court on 26 August.

The CPS, in its typically understated fashion, did not name Sharif in its announcement, but the Press Association was less coy, linking the charges to an incident on 1 January 2025, when Sharif was reportedly ambushed in his cell at the category A prison by two inmates wielding the jagged lid of a tuna tin. Because nothing says 'justice' like a can of fish.

Daren Streeter, a deputy chief prosecutor at the CPS, offered the obligatory legal boilerplate: "The Crown Prosecution Service has decided to charge Steven Sansom and Adam Watson with attempted murder in connection to an incident at HMP Belmarsh in January 2025. Our prosecutors have worked closely with the Metropolitan police to establish that there is sufficient evidence to bring the case to court and pursue criminal proceedings. We remind all concerned that proceedings against the defendants are active and they have the right to a fair trial. It is vital that there should be no reporting, commentary or sharing of information which could in anyway prejudice these proceedings."

Yes, yes, fair trial, all that. But let's be real: the alleged victim is a man who, along with Sara's stepmother, Beinash Batool, was jailed after years of abuse that culminated in the murder of a 10-year-old. During the trial at the Old Bailey in 2024, the court heard that Sara suffered "unimaginable pain, misery and anxiety" as she was repeatedly beaten, burned, bitten, and restrained at the family home in Woking, Surrey.

Sharif was sentenced in December 2024 to a minimum of 40 years in prison. The Metropolitan police previously confirmed that a 43-year-old (that's Sharif, for those keeping score) suffered "non-life-threatening injuries" in the alleged attack. The Sun reported at the time that he sustained cuts to his neck and face and received medical treatment inside the prison.

So, to recap: a man who committed one of the most heinous crimes imaginable is now allegedly the victim of an attack by fellow inmates. The charges are serious, and the defendants deserve their day in court. But if you're looking for sympathy for Sharif, you might be searching a very long time.