Starting Saturday, American parents can open a savings account named after the 45th and 47th president and stuffed with Wall Street investments. The "Trump accounts," authorized by the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, come with a $1,000 government deposit for children born between January 2025 and December 2028 - conveniently covering nearly all of Donald Trump's second term. Parents, friends, and employers can contribute up to $5,000 annually.

The Treasury Department announced that default deposits will flow into a State Street fund tracking the S&P 500, with BlackRock and Vanguard options coming later. The app to manage these accounts? Developed by Bank of New York Mellon and Robinhood, the platform that taught a generation that day trading is basically gambling with extra steps.

Billionaires have already jumped in: Michael and Susan Dell donated $6.25 billion to give 25 million poor children under 10 an extra $250 each. Ray Dalio and his wife chipped in for 300,000 lower-income kids in Connecticut. The bill's Republican backers call it the "Working Families Tax Cuts Act," but recent polls show two-thirds of voters disapprove of Trump's economic performance. Still, nothing says "trust us with your children's financial future" like a form numbered 4547 - a subtle nod to Trump's place in presidential history.