The Atlantic
America's Produce Aisle Now a Surprise Party for Parasites, Bacteria, and Printing Ink
From parasite-laced lettuce to ink-stained tofu, America's food safety system may be crumbling - but at least the outbreaks aren't worse (yet).
2026-09-02
The Atlantic
2026-08-22
The Verge
Why Does It Seem Like Food Recalls Are Out of Control? (Spoiler: They Might Be, Sort Of)
Food recalls are up, but fear not - it's not just your imagination, and the government's budget cuts are definitely not helping the situation.
2026-08-11
BBC Business
Taylor Farms Recalls Jalapeno Products After Salmonella Outbreak, Because Apparently One Parasite Wasn't Enough
Taylor Farms recalls jalapeno products amid salmonella scare, adding to its recent cyclospora outbreak - because one foodborne illness just wasn't enough for 2023.
2026-08-04
Ars Technica
Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak Kills Two; Feds Somehow 'Aware' But Not Counting
Two people have died from explosive diarrhea caused by Cyclospora, and the CDC is 'aware' but hasn't updated its numbers. Meanwhile, RFK Jr. is cooking salads on YouTube.
2026-07-31
The Guardian
Cyclosporiasis Outbreak May Be Slowing, Test-Maker Hopes, Because Lettuce Is Now Socially Awkward
A test-maker says the cyclosporiasis outbreak may be slowing, but with so many caveats, we're not holding our lettuce.
2026-07-23
The Atlantic
FDA's Cyclosporiasis Response: A Case Study in How Not to Communicate a Parasite Outbreak
The FDA's cyclosporiasis response has been a confusing mess of slow alerts, false positives, and vague warnings, leaving even Taco Bell-loving food safety reporters unsure what's safe to eat.
2026-07-18
The Guardian
Taylor Farms Recalls Shredded Iceberg Lettuce in 27 States, Because Apparently We Need Another Reason to Be Anxious About Salad
Taylor Farms recalls shredded iceberg lettuce in 27 states as cyclosporiasis cases spike; Taco Bell pulls produce, and RFK Jr. assures us it's just a summer thing - nothing to see here.
The Atlantic
Cyclosporiasis Outbreak Solved: It Was the Lettuce, Again, Because of Course It Was
Federal health agencies confirm shredded lettuce from Taco Bell caused the cyclosporiasis outbreak, but the handling was so confusing that Americans still don't know if their salad is safe.
The Good Times
News in your inbox.
One sardonic roundup, delivered on your schedule. Free. Unsubscribe whenever your tolerance for wit runs out.
Already subscribed but we never reach your inbox? Check your spam folder and hit 'Not spam' (or 'Remove from spam') to bust us out of junk-mail purgatory. You'll be helping everyone else too.