TechCrunch
OpenAI Loses Another Executive, Proving That Even AI Can't Retain Staff
OpenAI's revolving door of executives spins again as its data center chief bolts, leaving the company to reassure everyone that it's all part of the plan.
2026-08-26
TechCrunch
2026-08-18
TechCrunch
Anthropic's Revenue Does the Math Olympiad: From $9B to $65B Faster Than You Can Say 'Scaling Laws'
Anthropic's revenue run rate hits $65B, up from $9B last year, and they're eyeing a $2 trillion IPO - because why not?
2026-08-11
TechCrunch
OpenAI Gives Employees $7 Billion to Not Think About the IPO Yet
OpenAI buys back $7 billion in employee shares, likely delaying its IPO to avoid public scrutiny, while rival Anthropic lurks in the shadows.
2026-08-06
BBC Business
SpaceX Employee Cashing Out: 'Every Chance I Get, I'll Sell a Little More'
SpaceX employee Andre Lavoie is cashing in his $23m stock bonanza, proving that even rocket scientists know when to take the money and run.
2026-08-04
TechCrunch
SpaceX Doubles Revenue, Proves You Can Make Money Renting Out Stuff You Built for Something Else
SpaceX doubles revenue thanks to Starlink and renting out AI compute, proving that even failed AI projects can be monetized if you have enough data centers.
2026-07-30
TechCrunch
Fusion Startup CFS Might Go Public Sooner Than You Can Say 'Tokamak'
Fusion startup CFS hires Moderna's ex-CFO, hints at IPO in 2-3 years as it races to commercialize fusion power amid AI-driven energy demand.
2026-07-25
TechCrunch
SpaceX Launches Fancy New Starlinks, Then Promptly Explodes Another Booster
SpaceX launches new V3 Starlink satellites on Starship's 13th flight, but the Super Heavy booster explodes during landing - again. Upper stage performs flawlessly, stock drops 2%.
2026-07-10
SpaceNews
Space Capitalism Needs More Than a Bull Market: A Moonshot Without a Map
SpaceX's $2 trillion IPO and government directives are nice, but space capitalism needs actual laws, not just vibes and executive orders.
2026-07-02
TechCrunch
Bending Spoons Defies SaaS Slump, Surges 40% on First Day of Trading (Take That, AI Panic)
Bending Spoons, the company that revives dead tech brands, defies AI anxiety with a 40% IPO pop, proving that sometimes the best way to beat the robots is to buy old software and squeeze it for cash.
2026-06-06
Ars Technica
S&P 500 to SpaceX, OpenAI, Anthropic: Sorry, You Still Have to Wait in Line Like Everyone Else
S&P 500 tells SpaceX, OpenAI, and Anthropic they can't skip the 12-month wait or ignore profitability rules, saving passive investors from a wild ride on unprofitable space and AI bets.
2026-06-05
TechCrunch
Google to Pay SpaceX Nearly a Billion Bucks a Month for Compute, Because Why Not
Google will pay SpaceX $920 million per month for compute, because apparently renting GPUs is now the most expensive subscription service in the universe.
2026-05-27
TechCrunch
SpaceX S-1 Filing Drops the Real News: Maybe Reusable Rockets Are Harder Than They Look
SpaceX's IPO filing reveals that reusable rockets are harder than expected, Starlink growth is slowing, and the space broadband market may be smaller than hoped - but at least they launched some dummy satellites.
2026-05-23
TechCrunch
Nuclear Startup Deep Fission Goes Public (Again): Déjà Vu All Over Again, But With More Zeros
Nuclear startup Deep Fission tries going public again, this time on Nasdaq, despite still not having a working reactor and now losing money faster than a drill bit through soft rock.
TechCrunch
SpaceX Launches Giant Firecracker, Gets Mostly What It Paid For
SpaceX's biggest rocket ever flew, lost a booster to the sea, an engine to space, but still managed to deploy some fake satellites before exploding on cue. IPO pending.
2026-05-22
BBC Business
SpaceX Postpones Starship Launch, Because Nothing Says 'Buy Our Shares' Like a Hydraulic Pin Acting Up
SpaceX delays Starship launch due to a wonky pin, right before a record-breaking IPO that could make Elon Musk the first trillionaire - because nothing says 'invest in me' like a rocket that needs a hardware fix.
2026-05-21
TechCrunch
Anthropic Tells Investors It Might Finally Make Money, Which Is Nice
Anthropic tells investors it might finally turn a profit, just in time for OpenAI to file for an IPO and make everything awkward.
2026-05-12
TechCrunch
Google and SpaceX Reportedly Plotting Data Centers in Space, Because Clouds Aren't High Enough
Google and SpaceX are reportedly in talks to put data centers in orbit, because terrestrial real estate just isn't expensive enough.
2026-05-10
TechCrunch
xAI Rents Out Its Giant Compute Center to Anthropic, Because Why Train Models When You Can Be a Landlord?
xAI turns its giant Tennessee compute center into a rental property for Anthropic, because apparently training your own AI is overrated when you can just be a GPU landlord before SpaceX's IPO.
TechCrunch
Lime Files for IPO, Reveals It Has a Billion-Dollar Hole in Its Pocket and a Pothole Problem
Lime finally files for IPO, revealing $1 billion in liabilities and a deep concern about potholes, because nothing says 'ready for public markets' like a broken scooter in a crater.
2026-05-01
TechCrunch
Anthropic to Investors: Get Your Money In Within 48 Hours, and Maybe We'll Let You Give Us $900 Billion
Anthropic gives investors 48 hours to pledge money for a $900B valuation round, while early backers wait for the IPO to actually cash out.
The Good Times
News in your inbox.
One sardonic roundup, delivered on your schedule. Free. Unsubscribe whenever your tolerance for wit runs out.
Already subscribed but we never reach your inbox? Check your spam folder and hit 'Not spam' (or 'Remove from spam') to bust us out of junk-mail purgatory. You'll be helping everyone else too.