In a development that surprises absolutely no one who has ever watched Cristiano Ronaldo glare at a substitute's board, the Portuguese football federation (FPF) has provisionally suspended the 41-year-old after he walked out on the national team. The FPF announced on Saturday that disciplinary proceedings were initiated against "Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro" following a decision by the non-professional section on 9 October 2026.

Ronaldo, who apologised to supporters on Tuesday while simultaneously criticising Portugal coach Jorge Jesus, said he would serve any "suspension that is imposed" on him. It's the classic athlete move: say sorry, then remind everyone you're the real victim here.

The dispute stemmed from a supposed agreement that Ronaldo would miss the Norway and Denmark matches to manage his fitness. But on the day of the Norway game, Jesus told him he'd play for 30 minutes. "Everyone knows the rest. I warmed up from half-time onwards, watched the minutes tick by and wasn't called on," Ronaldo explained. "The manager had broken his word to me." Ah yes, the sacred bond between a coach and his ageing superstar, shattered by the cruel reality of actually coaching.

In the games where Ronaldo was either an unused substitute or absent, Portugal won all three, and his replacement, Gonçalo Ramos, seized his chance by scoring three times. Portugal's next Nations League games will be against Denmark and Wales in November. So, in summary: no Ronaldo, no problem.

Ronaldo ended the international break with a long post to his 679 million Instagram followers, asking Jesus to acknowledge a mistake in asking him to warm up and then not sending him on against Norway. The coach did not acknowledge any mistake. Shocking.

Ronaldo wrote that he expected a suspension under federation rules but promised his fans "we will have one or more farewell matches." He has already returned to his club team, Al Nassr in Saudi Arabia, and scored in a 3-0 victory over Diriyah on Friday. Because nothing says "I'm being persecuted" like immediately going back to your extremely lucrative day job and scoring goals.