In a stunning display of 'insider trading' that somehow didn't involve stocks, a former White House teleprompter operator has been ordered to cough up more than $172,000 (£127,000) for using his inside knowledge to bet on what President Donald Trump would say during speeches. Gabriel Perez, the man who once held the sacred scrolls of presidential rhetoric, was found to have made trades on Kalshi - a prediction markets platform where you can bet on whether the President will say 'covfefe' or just 'big league' - between December 2025 and February 2026.

The Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC), the folks who usually worry about things like wheat futures, announced on Friday that Perez will have to surrender profits of $107,539.02 (£79,452) and pay a civil penalty of $65,000 (£48,000). That's a grand total of $172,539.02, which is probably more than he made in salary during that period. The CFTC said Perez had 'misappropriated' his prior knowledge of Trump's speeches to place bets 'in breach of his duty of trust and confidence.'

In a move that might make you think the system works, the CFTC reduced his civil penalty due to his 'exemplary co-operation' with the investigation. Perez has also been banned from trading for three years, which is probably a relief to his bookie. The White House has not yet commented, but in July, then-press secretary Karoline Leavitt said Perez was on unpaid leave and would not return to his post. We assume he's now free to pursue other career opportunities, like writing a memoir titled 'I Bet on the President and Lost Everything.'

Kalshi's lead lawyer Bobby DeNault welcomed the decision on X, saying: 'It doesn't matter who you are: violate our rules or federal law and you will face the consequences.' This is a bold statement from a company that profits from people betting on whether politicians say 'China' or 'tariff' during speeches. The company had previously told the BBC that its analysts noticed unusual betting on 'mention markets' - contracts where users predict whether a speaker will use common terms, such as specific countries, campaign slogans, or words - in March. They used account data to identify the user as a federal employee operating White House teleprompters and reported the activity to the regulator.

In a statement in July, Kalshi noted that 'the words of political leaders like Presidents and Fed chairs cause billions of dollars of movement in FX markets, oil futures, [and] the stock market.' Yes, and apparently also in the bank accounts of teleprompter operators with a gambling problem. The same month, the White House Management Office sent a letter to aides telling them not to place bets on prediction markets, administration officials told CBS News. Because apparently, 'Don't bet on insider info' wasn't obvious enough.