In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Democrats and Republicans are once again accusing each other of trying to steal an election before a single ballot is cast. The latest installment of this bipartisan tradition unfolded in Texas, where Democrats held a press conference ahead of the GOP's Dallas-based midterm convention, and Illinois Governor JB Pritzker took the microphone to deliver some tough love.

Pritzker, who is either running for re-election or auditioning for a 2028 presidential run (he's keeping us guessing), accused Republicans of 'bootlicking' Trump and alleged that the former president's efforts to restrict mail-in voting amount to a promise to end fair elections. 'If Democrats don't win, if they don't win in this election, we may not have other elections,' Pritzker declared, adding that future elections would be 'rigged' if the GOP gets its way. He also noted that Republicans 'know that they can't win on the merits of their unpopular policies, so they're working to rig the 2026 election.' Because nothing says 'we believe in democracy' like predicting its demise if you lose.

Meanwhile, Texas Democrats are also dealing with internal strife, because apparently unity is for amateurs. Kendall Scudder, chairman of the Texas Democrats, came to the defense of Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett, who lost the party's Senate primary to James Talarico. Some Democrats have suggested Crockett isn't doing enough to rally voters behind Talarico, but Scudder told reporters, 'I think y'all need to get off Congresswoman Crockett's case, okay.' He noted that Crockett endorsed Talarico the day after the election, calling her 'a phenomenal team player.' Wendy Davis, president of Blueprint Texas, was less forgiving, telling a Bloomberg roundtable that she hopes Crockett will 'get on the team' and campaign for Talarico, who faces scandal-haunted Republican Ken Paxton. Davis speculated that Crockett might still be nursing wounds from a 'bruising' primary, which is a polite way of saying 'politics is a blood sport.'

Local Democrats also brought up Texas Republicans' mid-decade redistricting push, which Trump heavily promoted. That effort redrew congressional maps in 2025 to favor the GOP, likely securing extra seats in the midterms. Because nothing says 'will of the people' like carefully gerrymandered district lines.

Over in Rhode Island, Governor Dan McKee is fighting for his political life in today's primary, trailing Helena Foulkes, a former CVS executive, in the polls. McKee's problems stem largely from his handling of repairs on Providence's Washington Bridge, which have dragged on longer than a DMV visit. If McKee loses, it would be the first time in nearly a decade an incumbent governor was ousted in a primary, proving that even Democrats can't stand incompetence when it blocks their commute.

And in Nebraska, Governor Jim Pillen, a staunch conservative who supports Trump's mass deportation campaign, apparently employed undocumented immigrants at his pork production business, Pillen Family Farms. According to a report by the Flatwater Free Press and the New York Times, at least 20 hog farms relied on labor from the very people Trump wants to deport. Because who better to enforce immigration laws than someone who profited from breaking them? Pillen, who is running for re-election against Democrat Lynne Walz, has echoed Trump's immigration rhetoric, presumably while checking his own workforce's papers.

Meanwhile, the world continues to be a mess. Oil prices have surged past $100 a barrel as the US and Iran trade attacks on tanker ships, which will surely delight American drivers. German Chancellor Friedrich Merz cancelled a planned call with Trump after Trump celebrated a far-right AfD election win, because even allies need a breather from that kind of enthusiasm. And in a rare bit of good news, Americares, a non-profit delivering medical supplies, received a record $50 million donation to help fill the gap left by Trump's dismantling of US foreign aid programs. Because when the government abandons its responsibilities, billionaires step in to save the day - or at least the medicines.

So, as the midterms approach, Americans can look forward to more accusations, more gerrymandering, and more politicians pretending they're fighting for democracy while doing everything in their power to make sure it doesn't work. Stay tuned.